Ten Things, Seven Days Late, Two Hours After I Should Have Been In Bed, Stupid Numbers

I'm behind on things lately.  I'm so uncomfortably behind. 

I can't figure out dinner or laundry or teacher appreciation week if my life depended on it.  I'll be impressed if I make it to all my Mother's Day Teas this week without losing my mind.

There's a monthly blog post "party" in which I love to participate on Emmy's blog.  You can check out the meme here.  It's titled 10 Things to Smile About.

I think I like it because it forces me to think about things I'm enjoying in my life rather than my more regular venting.  Don't misunderstand, I love my venting.  I call it The Mommy Therapy for a reason. I truly feel I can work through some things because I have this outlet. It's nice to highlight the absurd though. Everyone should do that every now and then.

So, I'm a week late, but here it is, Ten Things to Smile About.

1. My fruit stand.

I know that sounds confusing, like perhaps I opened an actual fruit stand on the side of the road where I can sell all the produce I grow at my house.  Unfortunately I don't grow any produce at my house so my fruit stand would be all store bought fruit, or fake fruit. 

This might not work out so well since I'd have to really up charge for a box of raisins to cover all my expenses.  Those fruit stands don't just pay for themselves.  Or they might normally, but mine wouldn't.

So, I'll just be happy about this fruit stand (pictured below.) 

I used to have multiple fruit bowls on the counter and it was really, really annoying.  Now I have this and life is so much better.

At least in the fruit department.

 

 

2. My children creating together.

 

All three of my kids decided to make treasure maps tonight, and it was adorable to watch them all work. 

 

 

 

Love.

 

3.  Homemade Donuts

 

I made homemade, pumpkin donuts last Sunday.  Despite Cole's cheerful expression below, moments later he was in tears due to a fierce hatred of these donuts.  

 

 

 

 

 

I loved them though and that's pretty much all that matters when it comes to preparing food in this house.  I ate five of them. 

 

Five donuts.

 

They were pumpkin though, that's five vegetables.  Or is a pumpkin a fruit? 

 

Crap, my fruit stand would totally fail.

 

 

4. New Girl

 

I've mentioned it before, but I can't begin to describe how much I love this show.  It is hilarious and simply awesome.  If you aren't watching New Girl then you are off your rocker.

 

Do it.

 

Do it now.

 

5. Does the photo below look like a small box of teeth?

 

 

At Christmas time, my parents brought this small wooden box of nasty to my house to share all of my saved childhood teeth. Because that's not weird at all.

 

My parents have saved everything over the years and it continues to be the source of so much amusement and joy.  I wish I were a saver so I could give my kids the excitement of receiving all their former teeth.

 

Cole currently thinks this is the coolest thing EVER.

 

If that's surprising to you, you haven't been reading long enough.

 

6. The Pampered Chef

 

I'm still loving my Pampered Chef business, and especially going to people's houses and doing cooking shows, but I honestly don't know where I would be without these two awesome essentials.  

 

The first has given me so many FAST weeknight meals.

 

 

 

 

This has made dicing onions or any other vegetables, as well as preparing salsa, pesto, etc., crazy easy.  Love it. 

 

 










 

I'm a nerd.

 

7.  My Dog Isn't A Total Piece of Crap Anymore

 

While our pool has been under construction, our dog, Bea, has been the source of much, much pain for me. 

 

She escaped out of the fence since it was mostly gone and then peed and pooped inside because we never wanted to let her outside since she would run away.

 

It was a vicious, disgusting cycle that forced me to loathe my dog.

 

Now that the fence is back up and we have resurrected putting her in her kennel when we are gone, I sort of like my dog again.  Her freshly groomed self can be checked out below where Cole is choking her.

 

 

He's not really choking her, it just looks like it because he's forcing her to turn her head toward me. 

 

It's really sweet, disguised as pretty annoying. 

 

8. Nora Roberts

 

I don't know her personally, or really think she's that amazing of an author, but she's easily accessible on my Kindle to fill my mind with a mindless story that very closely resembles a chick-flick.  I am really loving how mindless her books are right now. 

 

No offense Nora.

 

I have read a book and a half in the last week and despite feeling slightly less intelligent, I'm extraordinarily entertained....and I appreciate that.

 

9. Rugs!

 

Since having a dog whom regularly peed and pooped inside over the course of the last few months, I am elated to have a few new rugs to make our house smell less and less like urine. 

 

You might think that sounds like a bad thing, but then you might be nuts. 

 

Here they are....first one has the fabric for our future sofa draped next to it. (Despite Cindy Crawford's awesome commercials, we decided to not go with the denim sofa she expertly crafted for her new line at Rooms to Go.  Who is buying the denim couch these days?  Who?)

 

Don't tell me if you think these two look awful together, I can't change it now and I would just have to feel all sorts of grumpy toward you.  Who wants that?

 

 

 

 

 

Do I like grey and yellow? 

 

Absolutely not. How trendy.  I'm WAY more original than that.

 

Or not.

 

It was all over Target, what choice did I have?

 

10.  It's ALMOST done

 

Longest pool project in the history of pool projects.  We have dragged this thing out since February, but the end is in sight and I am over the freakin' moon when I think about it being done and being able to use this with my family this summer.  Wa-hoo!

 

 

 

Thanks for indulging me, despite being a whole week late on joining this meme.

 

What are you happy about?

 

 

*******************************************************

FYI  If you haven't liked my Pampered Chef Facebook page you need to do it.  NOW!

 

I post recipes and tips and, well, it's more or less helpful. It's not like it's going to hurt you. 

 

I don't think.

 

Search for Leslie's Pampered Chef on Facebook. 

 

 



Stella Style

Stella has her own "thing" going on lately. 

Not too long ago Stella went to school wearing a brown and orange flowered shirt paired with red tights with apples on them, and running shoes.

The end.

No shorts, skirt, dress, or pants of any form or fashion. Tights, that's it folks.

Evidence:

I know you are probably fearful of the future of Stella's clothing choices if we're already making pants optional, but I promise to view proper attire as a war worth fighting as soon as she stops proclaiming that she has a little "gina"* and Mommy has a BIG "gina." *

("Gina" is pronounced jI-na in this disturbing instance.)

I just can't fight her these days on clothes when she is attempting to sneak Benedryll topical lotion to her room to rub over her entire body.  (Sounds like an exaggeration, but it's really not.  I'm just grateful I discovered her before she applied the lotion to her "gina.")

Further evidence of what I am up against in the clothing selections:

I have never understood the expression "terrible twos" for my children.  Granted Stella is technically two for another month, but the worst of the tantrums and defiance always starts and perseveres well through age three for my offspring. 

Stella is no exception.  The closer she gets to three, the more challenging things are around here.

We have tantrums over anything and everything she is allowed to do or not do.

I don't feel she's doing this more than the boys did, or more often than "normal" (whatever that is) but it is really cramping my style lately.

Stella's style on the other hand....

No sign of cramping in the near future.

Emails From The Past

I love technology. 

A few days ago my parents' (yes, they share,) email account sent me a reply to an email I sent out almost five years ago. 

Here was the message I received:

Afj;lkasdjf ;sdalkjfldsa;kfj sdal;kfj asd;lkfj sda;lkfj adslk;fj dsal;fkj sdal;kj

Sdfasdlkfj asdl;kfj asdl;kfj sda;lkfj

As

Dfjsdl;k jfasd;lkjf sda;lkj f

 

I assume that neither of my parents typed up this heartfelt message last week.  It seems unlikely that they were finally catching up on their inbox from five years ago.

 

I did receive this message at 8:15 PM though, so perhaps the Chardonnay and light beer were flowing during dinner and they decided to work on their correspondence.  Emails can get overwhelming to keep up with over time.

 

Intoxicated emailing parents or messed up email system, either way it was fun to read what I had emailed about Aiden and Cole's first day of "school" from 2008 and thought I would share. 

 

Hi everyone. I thought I would send a quick synopsis of Aiden and Cole's first day at Mother's Day Out and save a few phone calls. 

 

I am WAY too busy to call you all individually, obviously. 

We all started the day around 4:30 am with Cole's screams, so it was a little rough at the beginning of the day.

I dropped Aiden off without any problems and he was excited to see that the cars he had played with during Meet The Teacher Night were still there for him. He was also very excited to see Jackson and Henry from his class last year, but they were definitely second place to the cars.

 

His teachers were pretty busy when I picked him up but his account of the day revolves primarily around his teachers saying it was time to stop playing with the toys, he put a toy in the basket and then he cried and cried and cried and the tears came down....I couldn't get any other details.  I'm assuming he LOVED it because that feels best.

I also dropped Cole off without any problems, primarily because I don't think he really knew what was going on and was distracted by a cooler, fresher version of one of his favorite toys at home.

 

Apparently Cole is the youngest child in his class and the only one that isn't walking and eating solely finger food. Oh, and he is the only boy with seven girls. They sleep on nap mats and sit in chairs for meals....this is not Cole's current level of living. 

 

So when I picked him up his paper said that he had a "sad day and cried off and on all day." He did sleep on a mat but oddly enough wouldn't eat much of anything. He did take two more steps when we got home so maybe all the girls are teaching him to walk? He was VERY excited to see me when I picked him up so we'll see what happens when I drop him off on Friday now that he's on to the fact that he stays and I do not. 

 

Oh, both teachers separately mentioned that Cole has the loudest scream they have ever heard in a child his age....quite a compliment coming from a 60 year old lady that has worked in childcare her whole life. I'm so proud...and validated in my complaints. 

I'm not sure Cole will be learning much grammar while attending Hyde Park this year though. The comments on his report sheet were, "cry but done real good after music," and "I rock him sleep."  

 

We'll just have to work on grammar and sentence structure at home. 

Hope everyone is doing well.

love, Leslie

 

So basically nothing has changed.

 

Hope everyone had an awesome weekend!

Alex LOVES When I Leave Town

I just returned from a quick trip to Chicago to meet my friend Kathryn's baby and see my girls. 

It was awesome.

Is there anything better than being with people you just genuinely LOVE? 

I suppose the answer to that is yes, because I'm around people I love all the time. 

In fact, I'm around three of them far too often at times, causing me to actually have to schedule a time to leave town.  Without them. 

Perhaps I meant people you genuinely LOVE, AND never ask you assist them in the bathroom unless you are also simultaneously laughing so hard you think you might explode or you are trying to keep them from peeing on their wedding dress. 

People that only ask you to prepare them food if by "prepare" you really mean order, or grab more from the counter because you're already getting up for more wine. 

People who actually enjoy waiting for you to try on your sixth pair of pants at Lululemon and die laughing when your butt is so tightly squeezed in to a pair of lounge pants that there is no other option but to flaunt it for a moment because it's so ridiculous. 

All those thing pretty much eliminate my children.

It was a fast trip, but it did give plenty of time for things to appropriately fall apart around here.

Alex, by his own admission, was shell shocked by the time he picked me up from the airport.  I think he might have been crying, but I couldn't swear to it. He kept telling me he couldn't believe he was so inadequate at caring for his own children.

(I too am often baffled by this, but so grateful that he keeps trying that I do my best to not say a word.)

Parts of the house looked like a crime scene, only the kitchen looking pristine from what I later learned was a very concentrated effort by Alex to do something really well.  Also, he didn't really use the kitchen much so success was written all over that goal. 

There were signs of q struggle, excessive technology dependency, movie viewing involving a four letter word, "interesting" food, giant carpet stains, piles of toys/old food/dirty towels/cleaning rags, and the sure sign of desperation...new toys from an "I don't know what else to do to contain them," trip to Target.

On top of everything else, Aiden starting vomiting Saturday night.  Cole showed Alex the "ant bites" I thought I had been treating for four days and apparently it's poison ivy all up his legs and spreading to his arms. Stella was just Stella, but these days that is enough. 

It's tough to play pretend kitchen up to her standards, and hold the rest of this house together

Alex had to endure a twenty minute tantrum because Stella wanted to her water in "Autumn's cup" Saturday night.  Unfortunately Alex had no clue that this means she wants the hot pink cup we borrowed when we were at her friend Autumn's house four months ago.  

(The amount of information I hold in my head about such nonsense is frightening.)

Thankfully he had a wonderful attitude about it when I got home and instead of saying he would never be alone with them again, he commented that he needs to be more involved on the weekends so he isn't so lost when I'm not here.

Could I have won anymore from going away this weekend?

Unfortunately now I'm back to finishing taxes, grocery lists, laundry, and wrangling children. 

But the memory of this glorious margarita lunch with my girls' is still bringing a smile to my face.

 

There's a skylight over our table, just in case you are baffled by this.

It's A Lot Like Beauty And The Beast

...except it's nothing like that. 

I just have that "Be Our Guest," song in my mind and it seemed important to work it in to this post and the title seemed like the logical location.

Why do I have "Be Our Guest," in my mind? 

I am the GUEST BLOGGER on The Mommy Mess today...as in right now.

I think this means I have reached a certain level of fame, so hopefully I won't turn into another cautionary tale like Lindsey Lohan and Amanda Bynes.  I could totally be stealing stuff and wearing a shirt on my head tomorrow, please help me overcome this!

It's best just to head on over and read my ramblings of enjoying these young years, shedding guilt, how to stop and smell the roses, and basically become a better person...seriously, it's all in one simple blog post where I also discuss new underwear and dead rabbits.

You can click on the button below...or right here.


 

Something To Sit On

 

Many moons ago we put together this adorable playroom for our children.

 

 

We enclosed an area in our house and lovingly placed all their crap in cute drawers and baskets within it. We felt it was necessary to trap them and all their multi-pieced sources of entertainment in a space with doors.

This changed our lives dramatically. 

Unfortunately, since our children are so tricky, they keep growing and changing, making it nearly impossible to adequately accomodate their most current needs.

(I was SURE that was going to end after the first year, but as it turns out I am very clearly wrong.)

It turns out that the kids aren't using all that many "toys" recently, going totally against the idea of giving them a whole room to play with toys.

Aiden and Cole mostly care about running around outside, arguing about the existence of both imaginary and real things with unexplicable passion, Lego building, torture of all kinds, and their iTouch games. Stella cares about riding her scooter, digging and tracking in sand, whining, purse carrying, and "art" of all forms and fashions.

I didn't think this would happen until at least the age of 10, but they simply don't need a whole bunch of plastic toys that they can attempt to destroy anymore.  So I purged.  I purged a LOT.

I have two giant boxes of books, a giant box and two bags of random toys and stuffed animals, two tubs of the "nice" toys to put in the attic for the potential someday, and an obsence amount of trash. 

(Does it seem alarming to anyone else that I literally could walk through my children's rooms and playroom on any given day and fill a grocery bag with trash?  Where is all this coming from?)

It felt wonderful. 

I left only the building blocks/Lincoln Logs/Legos, musical instruments, arts, and dress up.

What they all really needed was a room to "hang out" in during the down times and watch a movie or show so they would get out of my living room with all their stickiness, lingering, and awful TV choices.

(Not that I EVER let my children watch TV.)

(Total lie.  My kids watch so much PBS.)

(Fine, they also watch Disney Junior.)

(FINE, and Cartoon Network.  I can't fight all of them!)

Problem solved!

Our kids are now the proud owners of a redish-pink Ikea love-seat (with washable cover) that fits all of them comfortably and keeps them far, far away from me for extended periods of time. Ikea is the most wonderful store on Earth.

We are all delighted!

Now if we could just put a mini-fridge in there and a hot plate, I think they could basically fend for themselves! 

We're Back!

I have a confession.

I trimmed my bangs.

I don't think I'm strong enough for the growing out process.  It's messy and uncomfortable and awkward.  I don't do any of those things well. 

Maybe I should buy stock in some sort of headband company?

Maybe I have to have bangs forever now?

Do you think this is how Zooey Deshchanel feels? 

The kids and I just returned from a week in balmy Indianapolis.  I'm fairly confident that I used any strength I do have to enjoy being cold for seven days.  I forgot the type of endurance you have to have to remain sane while living through your fifth month of cold and gray weather.  I have been weakened by my Texas living.  Forgive me Indiana, I'm confused.

We did have a great time visiting with Grandma and Tractor, hanging with good friends, and just enjoying the luxury of being "home."  It never gets old. 

It gets very, uncomfortably cold, but never old.

It even snowed one day.

The boys LOVED it.

Stella thought it was AWFUL.

The truth is that cold or not, Indiana has my heart, but coming home to temperatures in the high 80s makes me think my heart may be divided. 

Turns out Texas has some high points too, like sunshine.