Thursday, January 14, 2016

Be The Best JLo You Can Be

I loathe tabloid magazines.

I think they perpetuate all sorts of horrible things in our society like the worship of celebrity, sexualization of women, and the unhealthy pursuit of things.

That's why I only purchase them when I am traveling without kids.

I need to keep up, but protect my children.

I swear it makes sense in my head.

I was at Target last week though and saw this.

I have a total girl crush on Jennifer Lopez.

If you don't like JLo, I don't even understand anything about you.  What do you stand for?  We'll never be close friends if you carry these negative emotions about Jenny from the Block.

This makes me sad.

JLo being on the cover did not make me want to purchase the magazine though, it was the topic of staying young.  In particular, JLo sharing her secrets for staying young.

This lady has it together.

Well, perhaps she hasn't quite figured out how to stay married (fourth time could totally be IT for her though,) but she's 46 and is not only looking amazing, but she's doing A LOT.

I bought the magazine.

You see, I'm turning 40 this year.  I think I'm OK with it, but then sometimes I completely freak out about it.

Last July I started getting fake eyelashes put on every few weeks.  (My adoration for eyelashes, and the lady who comes to my house to put them on, could be a post all by itself.)

Suddenly I get my hair cut and highlighted every six weeks.  (Also LOVE my hair stylist.)

I changed the part of my hair this fall and I think it was perhaps the biggest life event for me in 2015.

Just after having Max...but barely.

I subscribe to Stitch Fix and am infatuated with Lululemon.

I obviously am having a bit of a thing about my appearance.  I feel like I'm fighting for 40 to not take over.

I want to be JLo when I turn 46. Or this year would be good.

As I read the article, which is essentially an interview with Jennifer, I felt anxious and excited to hear what her secrets were.

Yes, this is as pathetic as it sounds.

As I finished reading though, I felt really disappointed.

There was nothing exciting or profound. She didn't cover eyelash extensions or hair care (those I assume are just a given for her life,) but the things she talked about were pretty "normal" recipes for a happy and beautiful life and body.

She sleeps 7 or 8 hours a night.  She doesn't have a magic potion for her skin, though I bet she would use Arbonne if she and I chatted.  She focuses on being happy by being grateful for the people in her life, primarily the love of her children.  She eats veggies and lean protein and doesn't do alcohol or caffeine.  She works out 3 or 4 times a week.


I was expecting a list of her kale juice diet, dinners of rare pongo fish steamed with unicorn tears, and a minimum of 5 gallons of lemon water a day...made with lemons you can only get from a small island off the coast of Sicily which requires you swim for 7 miles to reach land.

Exercise was surely going to be at 5 am every day, 7 days a week.

Fancy oxygen facials twice a week. A manual skin cell rejuvenation by a rare biologist for her face at least once a month.

Nothing like that.

Protein shake for breakfast. Salmon and salad. Lots of quinoa.

Side note:  When are we getting over quinoa?  I am ready for another super grain.

You know what her exercise often is?  Freestyle dance?!?!?

No rare biologist working on her cells. Ever apparently.

She does meditate, which is good apparently.

She also doesn't have four kids.

But really, it was very, very normal.  I feel a bit duped.

Don't we all want some magic secret?  It's why fad diets and magic skin care products are so easy to peddle to the masses.

The good news though is I guess we can all be JLo.

I already drink a shake for breakfast and love to dance and don't do caffeine so I'm already basically there.

And happy and grateful for the love? could I not be?


1 comment:

sboone said...

love it! how can JLo not do caffeine or alcohol though?