(Or if you've lost your mucous plug, which I will never understand being asked by people I wouldn't have on my emergency contact list. That seems like a personal and gross question, right? My answer to that is always no by the way.)
So, here's my answer to the how am I doing question....I'm totally over being pregnant, but I'm fine.
A little too fine.
I don't even feel that uncomfortable. I don't feel huge. I can walk around without too much discomfort. I am sleeping ok other than waking up to pee frequently.
I can tie my shoes!
(If poised in the appropriate position.)
I know you are probably assuming I am super grateful about this.
Are you crazy?
I am, of course, convinced that this lack of discomfort and gigantic size must mean that there is something wrong. I'm spending lots of time wondering what could be the cause of this issue.
Why don't I feel horrible? Why do my maternity shirts still mostly cover my belly? What sort of problems could be mounting in my belly? Why doesn't it feel like he's about to fall out when each time I go to the doctor she talks to me for no less than 10 minutes straight about how fast I better get to the hospital because he is so very low?
I searched back and found that I wrote this when I was 38 weeks pregnant with Stella.
Apparently I was really uncomfortable last time...more fuel for my fear fire.
I do still feel the same longing for a cocktail. I can not wait to be able to drink a glass of wine without guilt or order a fancy cocktail at a restaurant.
I mentally feel tapped out with the whole pregnancy thing. I found out I was pregnant back in May.
That feels like an eternity ago. So many holidays and changes and seasons have passed and I am still growing this human. Surely the time is up?
Intellectually I realize that I will deliver this child soon, but a big part of me (not my stomach surprisingly) really thinks I might be pregnant forever. I really, really hope I am wrong.
This would be a very awkward way to live the rest of my life.
I have been trying to enjoy the time with my other three, enjoy these last days without newborn life. I know it will be difficult to have time with each of them as soon as this baby arrives and consumes me. I know I'll miss them in a strange way. I'll be near them but slightly absent from our normal routine and I know a part of me will long for that normality amidst the chaos that comes with a new baby.
You know what else makes me sad?
After 28 comments on a Facebook question regarding recommendations, and multiple personal emails of suggestions, I have decided I am too cool for a diaper bag. I assume this isn't a shock to you, but given that this is my fourth child I just can't do a formal diaper bag.
It has taken careful consideration and MUCH online shopping to decide that I need multiple, very expensive bags.
Given my great need, I'm still looking.
I'll be sure to report any major decisions as soon as I have reached them.
I do feel I should repost all the suggestions people gave. I really loved a lot of them. I even put several of them in shopping carts on a variety of websites which I will probably never, ever return to again. I'm really good at online shopping without committing to the purchase, it's a talent.
Other current concerns?
My Netflix show selection for after this baby is born is weak. I'm still accepting advice on shows to have ready to fill the empty hours of nursing and baby holding when my brain won't function well enough to read or recite poetry to him to increase his intelligence.
What? I recite poetry all the time to the other three.
Well, not so much poetry, but we listen to really thought provoking music in the car that reminds me of poetry. It's really more like rap music, but it rhymes just like poetry. I even found an NWA song without cuss words and have now exposed my children to the joy of rap from the late 80s. Clearly I'm doing a good job as Mom.
I did read an article that suggested I have a labor play list to have playing while I deliver the baby. Is this really a thing? How many songs do you have to put on it? Is this like a mix tape for my baby?
Is it OK to hope your baby is delivered during Uptown Funk? I can't stop playing that song lately so it feels like it might be so familiar to the baby that it might make him feel more comfortable when he arrives. I wouldn't want him to feel out of place.
Seriously, how catchy is that song though?
I dare you not to dance while listening to it.
Please report back if you can do it.
Seriously, report back. I'm losing my mind just waiting for this baby, anything not baby related is very welcome right now.
11 days and counting.