Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Apparently Being Awesome Is Exhausting

I can not believe the number of people whom actually thought my last post might be related to having a fourth baby.  Do you even read my blog? 

Do you even know me?

I'm tapped out.

Clearly spent.

On Monday I cried because I couldn't open a new box of juice boxes.

(Vegetable juice to be clear. Please get out your score sheets and add 10 points to my Super Mom total.)

Today I literally lost my mind and yelled at sweet Stella when she starting screaming at me because I told her I needed to go to the bathroom. Nature called, I had to answer, and I was pissed that my two year old felt I was being unreasonable. 

Definitely not sinking to her level or anything.

Not that I wouldn't want to be at the same level as something this cute...


But, I am exhausted, surviving on a mere three or four hours of sleep most nights during the last week.  I refuse to neglect that tiny magic pill that I take every day though.  It is not the time for me to think about starting over with another baby.

Or I might freak the freak out.

I have had a babysitter the last three out of five nights.  This sounds amazing, and every outing was VERY fun, but I think I have been taught a serious lesson.  I am no longer cut out for such an overwhelming amount of fun...particularly when my daughter is up coughing most of the night.  I simply can not be a Mom and be a fun person.  Not happening. 

Friday we went out for a fancy dinner for a good friend's birthday.  It was wonderful company, wonderful food, wonderful cocktails....and not even a crazy late night. 

Saturday was another awesome night out with a VERY fun couple.  We were planning to hit the bingo hall after this very popular burger place, but ended up just talking until late and shutting down the burger place.  I felt so cool.

Sunday I had a Pampered Chef party and had a blast.

Monday I had the Bachelor and, though I didn't leave my house, I felt fully emotionally spent after the whole thing. I'm sure you understand.

Tuesday I had another VERY fun Pampered Chef party at a dear friend's house with a lot of amazing ladies.

I did break it down to Eminem, Fat Joe, and possibly a little Katy Perry (even though I feel like I'm supposed to not like her if I'm going to be cool?) on the way to get in the mood.

Doesn't this photo scream rapping curse words while mentally preparing for a FUN night of cooking for women I don't know?
I didn't get home until 11:45 though and then Stella and Cole took turns waking me up because they hate me. 

What other explanation could there possibly be!?!?!?!?!?

What I've learned from my days of socialization and showering/make up application to be around people is that I am just not cut out for this much concentrated doses of fun.  I need to parcel out my activities so I don't over exert myself and cry all day long or go off the deep end and...


WEAR A FREAKIN' HAT PEOPLE!!! 

Obviously, I'm going through a rough time. I'm not a hat person at all.

The good news? 

My calves are actually sore, almost as if I pushed myself to workout during my exhaustion, which I did not do of course because that sounds awful, all due to my wearing of these...


for multiple evenings in a row. 

It's like a work out.  A fashion workout.  I'm totally out of shape in every sense apparently.

The truth is, I just need some sleep.

The truth is, I should not be blogging right now or tomorrow has a good chance of forcing me to spend $10 at Starbucks on caffeine and baked goods to reward myself for being functional enough to leave the house and crying because I feel guilty that I was mad at Cole for refusing to wear underwear...again.  Things get complicated and expensive fast when I'm sleep deprived.

I hereby swear to never attempt to be this awesome during a five day time frame again.*  It's just not in me anymore.  I'm back to being lame as of today. 

Thank goodness.

*Disclaimer: If Justin Timberlake had a time machine, met me, asked me to travel back to spring break 1999, make out and party for five days straight... I would have no choice but to go along willingly. I'm sure you understand.

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

The Announcement

After careful, thoughtful consideration it is with a heavy heart and clear mind that I would like to formally announce that I have decided to grow out my bangs.

I realize this might come as quite a shock to many of you, but it feels right.  After watching Michelle Obama and Taylor Swift carry their perfectly trimmed bangs around the world, I just feel I can no longer engage in the bang world of now. 

I can't decide if I'm too cool, or not cool enough, or mostly just fearful of a sweaty Texas summer with lots of delicate hair covering my forehead looking gross for the next six months, but it's time for them to go.

Please have patience with me during this difficult and surely awkward growing out process.

What?

Did you think I was going to announce that I was formally addicted to meth, or drinking before I start to cook dinner now, in order to deal with Cole?  He's actually been much more him since I last wrote.  He's sleeping in Stella's extra bed most nights now and actually getting sleep, which keeps him sane.

Go figure.

Other news?

These two have been thick as thieves.


I don't really know why thieves are thick. Surely there is a better, sweeter analogy for inseparable siblings.  Insert that analogy here.

These two have been thick as thieves when one decides they would like to confess and the other wants to kill them.


That analogy totally works.  I'm honestly surprised Aiden isn't pushing Cole in to this giant hole in this photo.  They are fighting over everything these days.  There was an all out screaming, crying, episode in the car last week about whether or not Cole saw a rainbow colored car while we were driving.

Spoiler: There actually was a rainbow car. Cole was right. Aiden refuses to concede that it is even possible.

This guy.


Is so annoyed I posted this photo on Facebook that I felt it was important to put it on my blog too.

Stella is still bananas.



And took 49 pictures of this on my phone yesterday.


See...the bang thing does seem like big news after that last photo, right?