Sunday, November 3, 2013

Detox: Day Five - Seven...Things Get Psychological

How's the detox going you say? 

Excellent, wonderful, fantastic. 

Oh, and I cheated.


Let me explain.

Friday I felt sick again.  Not really sick, just very exhausted and I had serious cravings.  I wanted essentially everything on the list to eliminate.  I would have drank a bottle of vinegar for the sheer joy of knowing it's something I am not supposed to have.

(To be clear, I haven't missed vinegar at all.  I'm totally cool without vinegar.)

Friday was like a repeat of day two, but I think it was mostly psychological. 

I realized I desperately wanted to enjoy a Starbucks tea latte and a scone for the simple pleasure of enjoying a treat for me.   It tastes good, it's warm and cozy, and it's something I often get by myself...and I love it.

My friend Misti came over and told me how hard core she is when she does cleanses and for about the millionth time, she told me that by day 7 or so I wouldn't even want any of the things I used to relish, like sugary scones.  (I think Misti might be a big liar about that, but I do keep hearing that after the first week you feel amazing and the cravings decrease.)  She encouraged me to stay strong and never, ever cheat.

But Friday night was a rough night with the boys and by the time they were in bed I was physically incapable of not pouring a glass of wine.  I would be a horrible recovering drug addict because I rationalized that pour and felt confident in it. 

Then I took a sip and it just didn't taste worth it.  So I dumped out my glass of wine.

I would like to repeat, I DUMPED OUT MY GLASS OF WINE.

If it seems as though I am shouting at you, I am.  I can't believe I did that, but it didn't seem delicious enough to break all the work I had done to get to that day five. 

It's OK to think of me as an amazingly strong, determined woman of power right now.  I was.

And to be clear...that was not the cheating.

Saturday morning was a great day, we went on a family hike and were absolutely the most adorable we have ever been as a group of five as we unpacked snacks of pumpkin seeds, apples, and pistachios on rocks next to an isolated creek in the greenbelt, totally unaware of where we were.  We could have been part of  a commercial for something that helps you go have fun with your family and be happy, like Prozac or Chardonnay. 

I didn't crave anything.

Then suddenly we were invited out by one of Alex's friends to a new bar in our town.

(Sidebar plug for the bar Brass Tap in Round Rock, TX...awesome, classy, and cool.)

We found a sitter and by 8 pm Alex and I found ourselves showered, kid-less, and out of our house for the first time in over a month. We haven't been alone in ages.  I was at my cousin's wedding, then he was off shooting innocent animals, then he was at work and things just have not worked out for us to hang.

It was nice to see him again. 

If you have been reading for any amount of time you know I have a MAJOR crush on my husband.  Things aren't perfect of course, but geez I get giddy sometimes that he's mine. It was fun to be out with him again.

And that's when it happened....

I had....


I did consult my list of 'eat this not that' and couldn't find the word BEER explicitly forbidden, but some people consider beer to be in the category of alcohol so I guess I cheated.

I really debated mentioning it, I mean there are only about five people in the world that know of this detox betrayal, but I am a pretty awful liar so I decided to fess up.

You was delicious. 

Alex and I sat in big overstuffed chairs and talked and drank our beer and I don't regret it one bit. 

I drank club soda and lime the rest of the night, which for all I know could be off limits too, but I think that was OK.  Though I didn't feel guilty, I was pretty convinced that I was going to feel like crap this morning and the cravings would be worse than ever. Surely that beer unraveled all my hard work.

Day seven though...I felt awesome.

I don't recommend cheating, but I don't recommend thinking the world is going to crash down around if something happens. I think staying strong the first week is extra important to get past the really hard part, which is not that long. 

Yes, I realize I cheated within the first week.  Do as I say, not as I do.

I haven't cheated at all today, even preparing delicious oatmeal for the family and watching them eat it while drinking my equally delicious shake. 

I feel great.

Day 8 is surely to be even better.


If any of you are interested in attending a VERY fun shopping day of vendors at my home this month, email me and I will let you know the details. 

If you sell something and would like to be included, email me about that too.

If you want to be my best friend, email me and I'll tell you how we can make that happen....regardless of where you live.

themommytherapy at gmail dot com


Lynda Halliger Otvos (Lynda M O) said...

Leslie, love, I'll be your bestest bud if that's cool. I live in SF Bay ARea and have two really neat "sisters" whom you will love too and we all will help you thru this miasma of Bull-shit that is our forties. Give me a call or an email and we'll exchange confidences and keys to our diaries. K ?~!

momnextdoor said...

So present me was right to be worried about past you! But the good thing is I'm all for rationalization and you did a bang up job! I think it's great that you are doing this detox...but I think it's even more great that you are having fun and not taking things too seriously! A little blip on the radar doesn't mean a thing! Keep up the good work lady!