You're over talking about my detox? You don't want 28 days of detox blogs?
If I can't have normal food, you can't have normal blogs.
(Please do not leave me. I obviously care about your needs, I'm just unable to focus past my lack of sugar so I'm feeling a bit selfish.)
Remember when all I used to talk about was meth?
Those were the days. If you missed out read this or this or this.
You know what meth users like?
I couldn't even use meth on this detox if I needed to because I'd probably need to go drink a 2 liter of Mellow Yellow...if that's even still something that I can purchase, does it still exist?
Crap, I bet it's not even made anymore.
There is no end to the list of things I can not consume right now.
I've started to make up rewards for myself. Mostly I'm relating them to my Arbonne business because I'm trying to push in that right now so I can take Alex on a free trip next year. I have all sorts of crazy goals. I have a huge goal where I can eat a scone.
A scone people.
I have never worked so hard to get a scone. Call me if you want to help me eat a scone.
I might weep.
I have to report that I'm feeling fine though. Dare I say....I feel good. I have more energy and I haven't had a headache in over a week, which is a BIG thing for me.
I even took a barre class today.
That's right, I'm essentially a ballerina and forgot to tell you all. In my class I feel like I'm in the movie Save The Last Dance, which you can't even pretend to have not seen.
Julia Stiles and Sean Patrick Thomas dance their way to love and I think better schools. It really pulls on the heart strings.
I'd be the Julia Stiles character since she was the ballet dancer turned hip hop dancer, just to be clear.
Also to be clear, there is not love story in the barre class, just me and a handful of fun ladies wishing cocktails were served in the ballet studio. Or maybe Mellow Yellow.
How did this even get so far off track?
This wouldn't happen if I were drinking Mellow Yellow right now.
So I feel good...but that doesn't mean I feel 100% at peace about my restrictions.
I still find myself letting my mind wander to all the things I can't have and forming strategies in my head about how I could cheat....but I haven't. I haven't been strict with myself because I really want to maintain my detox, but more because I feel so lame about the lengths I feel I have to go to for no one to know.
Last night I actually took out the box of raisin bran AND a bowl because it sounded so good at 10:00 when I got home from my meeting. I think I would have eaten it too, but Alex was up and I didn't feel like rationalizing why I was cheating.
Let me be clear, Alex could not care less whether I cheat or not, but it feels more real to me if I have to explain to someone that I'm deciding to cheat. Especially when I am making that someone eat dinners like this in the name of detox life.
Asparagus, roasted brussel sprouts, and quinoa with spinach.
There wasn't a bit of complaint from him, but I think he might be OK if I threw in the towel and could get a little more wild with our meals...like a little cheese or gluten here and there.
Last week I took a rare trip to the grocery store with just Aiden. Aiden asks questions about EVERYTHING and listens to every word you say, regardless of whether you meant it for him or not. As we were strolling past the wine section I mumbled something under my breath about not being able to get wine....which now means Aiden is all over pointing out that I can't have a glass of wine.
Tonight, I actually found myself contemplating pouring some Chardonnay in a blue plastic cup so Aiden wouldn't suspect that I was cheating. Sad you say? Yes, yes it is.
I was trying to hide wine consumption from my eight year old.
Maybe that should just be avoided?
19 more days folks. 19.