Unlike last year, there is no big party, there is no pressure for major celebration. I'm just sitting by my fresh Christmas tree, listening to music, and reading the insane number of Facebook birthday posts I've received.
(If you aren't on Facebook, I truly believe you should be for your birthday alone. I can not describe how awesome it is to have people from all areas of your life, family, friends, co-workers, neighbors, all wish you well.)
I have put Stella down for a nap and informed the boys that if they want any chance at celebrating me tonight (their only concern is cake,) they have to stay in their rooms and be quiet for at least an hour.
An hour of peace is a gift I can use, and since I've accepted that they have zero desire of their own to celebrate me, I'm using birthday cake to get them to do everything today.
Alex took my shopping list and took off for the grocery store. We might not ever see him again, but this is a wonderful way for him to go out if he isn't able to navigate the horrors of Sunday afternoon grocery shopping and make it home alive.
I assume there is a good chance he will return home with all sorts of junk food he wasn't aware even existed anymore, but as long as he also gets what is on my list, I'm fine with that. Not having to go grocery shopping is seriously a gift, well done Alex.
Earlier in the week I had put together a very mature scheme to make him feel badly for not planning anything for my birthday. I booked a sitter in secret and planned to keep my lips sealed about doing anything for my birthday, despite my very real wish to go out.
This is the part where you shake your head at me and say, "Leslie, don't play those silly games. You'll be the loser and no one will be happy. You're better than that. I love your bangs."
Or something like that.
Then this is when I say, "But I want Alex to do something, plan something, and I don't want to spell it out for him because I'm irrational and believe it's possible for him to read my mind."
Probably exactly that.
Fear not though, my friend Renee took matters in to her own hands and texted Alex, warning him of my evil plan and thereby ruining all chance of all of us being miserable all weekend.
She's so mean sometimes.
I guess I'm sort of grateful though.
Fine, Renee is wonderful and she's 100% right, I was being ridiculous.
So we went out for a nice dinner last night. We were relaxed and had a good time. We came home early, despite Alex's offer to stay out, because that sounded better. Apparently it's more fun to just relax and enjoy than turn in to a martyr....I know, I was confused at first too.
I consciously chose to enjoy my birthday, even if I'm wiping up poop and cleaning dishes.
I'm overwhelmed by how good I have it. You know how Oprah always says to start a gratitude journal to track what you are grateful for every day? I'm sitting here doing that in my mind.
(What? You don't do everything Oprah told you to do ten years ago?)
Well, I assume this is why. I am taking a minute to think that even though 36 is starting to sound a smidgen older than I would like, I am over the freakin' moon about my awesome life, and being a martyr about anything right now seems like more pain than I need.
Despite their ability to drive me completely bananas, seriously wanting to stab myself in the arm just to focus on another type of pain than the pain they emotionally inflict on me, I have pretty awesome kids.
Stella screamed a lot of today, mostly requesting Alex and refusing me. This is usually just fine with me, but today Cole was kind enough to come up to me, huge me and say, "Mommy, I'm sorry. It's your birthday and Stella hates you."
I love that Cole thinks of things like this. He is hilarious. Hilarious.
I'm also grateful for Alex. I have a marvelous partner, assuming he hasn't been killed at the grocery store, in Alex.
Holy hell, I am really fortunate.
I have insanely wonderful girl friends. These women sustain me, support me, call me out when I'm being crazy, and love me regardless. I would be LOST without their presence in my life. You know who you are, but Alissa, Anne, Sara, Julie, Kathryn, Amity, Jessica, Renee, Jenn, Nicole, Jennifer, Amy, Suzy, Kerri, Madge, Michele, Sally, Sabra, Jen, Suzanne....geez I feel like the list could go on and on. I just love you all. So grateful for good, solid women in my life who bring me joy.
Why don't I have photos of my friends? That seems wrong. Who wants to do a friends photo shoot with me? That sound cheesy, but it would be fun, surely it would be fun.
I also have awesome blog readers turned friends. Example A below:
Oh, and I have my dog. But I'm not super keen on my dog lately because she pees when she gets excited and has taken to humping my leg, and only my leg, and that makes me uncomfortable. Does she like me more than other people? What is she thinking while humping? Surely she's confused?
I don't think I can figure it all out tonight.
At 36 though, life is good. In a few short weeks my parents then my brother and sister in law will be here and we'll be celebrating Christmas and it's all just a little too much. It's all just so fantastic.
Tomorrow I'll go back to sarcastic, but tonight I'm happy.
Happy birthday to me!