Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Can You Worry About Bangs On 9/11?

For the last hour, I have been trying to write a post about my hip new haircut and Alex taking Stella to Greece by himself soon, and my irrational fear about that.

It's not working.  I'm failing.

You see, the thing is, it's 9/11 and Alex has the History Channel on and it's giving a moment by moment recount of the entire World Trade Center tragedy and I can't stop watching.  I'm in a trance.

I'm a little hard pressed to talk about my new bangs.  It's difficult to find the words for my conflicting feelings of fear about Alex taking Stella around the world without me, and the very real sense of excitement I feel about having ten days free of Stella, because...who gives a shit? 

Eleven years later and I still can't believe this happened.  It is still so painfully heart wrenching to watch the tragedy unfold.  I feel physically ill hearing these people wail for their loved ones and the genuine terror of seeing people fling themselves from a burning building, left with no other reasonable option.

I vividly remember that day, and the days that followed.  I knew no one that lost their lives.  I didn't even know someone who knew someone, but I felt shaken and scared for the future. I told my parents it was nearly impossible to imagine getting married, having kids, and living a joyful life like I had always assumed I would have.

But I have had that life..I did it all.  Life for me moved on and it's been damn good.

Really damn good.

Thank God.

So, my husband is taking my baby to Greece.  They will be gone nine days and it freaks me out, but it makes me happy.  In all honesty though, right now...I just feel happy that I have them.  I feel crazy excited that my day today was filled with the ludicrous self indulgence of a pedicure, a manicure, a haircut, and then the reality of a whole lot of kid wrangling and food preparing for a family of five.

My impossible to imagine eleven years ago, super annoying, fantastically wonderful, exhausting family of five. 

Plus a dog.  I hadn't even thought of  the dog possibilities.

Who could have dreamed it could be this good?

I'm sure I'll be back to babble about the very serious drama of my crazy good life soon, but for tonight?  Prayers for everyone affected in even the slightest way by this huge, scary, tragic event in our country's history. 

Everyone else, love and kiss on those you have. 

Life is good.

OK, seriously though, I have a fear that my bangs make me look masculine. 

Crap, I promise I'll wait to vent about it tomorrow.

But, is that possible though?  How are bangs manly?


Linking up to Shell's Pour Your Heart Out

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Mindi @ Simply Stavish said...

It is really hard to believe it all happened 11 years ago yet the memories that followed flood my mind. I remember I use to weep every time I turned on the radio in the car because of the stream of 9/11 news those first few weeks. Heart wrenching. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. First time visiting you from PYHO. Just love the title and tagline of your blog. :)

Stasha said...

I spent the day yesterday watching everything I could watch about 9/11.

Even though I watched it all as it happened, live, 11 years ago.

I sat riveted to my seat feeling all the emotions that I felt that day 11 years ago.

9/11 changed everyone. There is no doubting that.

Shell said...

I totally relate and shared something similar yesterday- in the grand scheme of things, it's hard to whine about anything when there are things like 9/11 memories.

Though... I think you should post a pic of your bangs. I always think they look cute on everyone else- just not me. ;)

Mommy Inconsistent said...

9/11 does put things in perspective, that's for sure.

So bangs...I've always had bangs. I'm going to be a little old lady with bangs. My forehead is huge...much too big to be without them.

I'm with Shell....let's see a picture!