Wednesday, August 1, 2012

What's The 411?

Remember when people used to say that? 

"What's the 411?"

If you don't, I assume you were either extremely uncool several years back, or you lived outside the United States and this expression makes no sense because you are foreign...which makes you either really cool or weird. 

Should this be an entire blog about expressions that no one really uses anymore and why? 


Fine.  Here's 6 quick things.

(Because when I tried to type 411 it just got long and stupid. Alright, stupid-er.)

1. I have developed a serious condition of addiction to Sons of Anarchy.  I know I've mentioned it before, but things have escalated.  I'm contemplating a purchase of leather chaps and a reaper tattoo on my back.  If you think that sounds extreme then you haven't seen enough of the show.  Alex and I are logging two episodes a night and feel we are much better people because of it. 

Fine, we aren't better people, but I feel so much more informed on gun running, motorcycle clubs, and the turmoil of good versus evil and how this can exist within one person on multiple levels and that has to count for something. 

Fine, and I also learned that I totally can dig a guy with greasy-ish hair, lots of tattoos, and has a tendency to off people he doesn't like.  He's spectacular. 

Watch it people.  It's beyond good.

2. I colored my own hair again and picked a shade entirely too dark.  This isn't much more to say about this, but it's on my mind right now.  I feel as though I look sort of foreign, but it's possible I look like the weird variety rather than the cool one. Like perhaps I've decided I no longer like cold beverages or matching clothes.

Are those universal traits of foreigners?  They are in my head so that seems like it should count.

Black hair, it feels weird
3.  The other night I spent almost 25 minutes reading about the Kristen Stewart cheating controversy, including other reader's comments.  I read a lot of them, some to laugh and some I actually started to feel real emotions about the reader's views.

I'm so ashamed.
I also almost clicked on a link to what I believe was a timeline in photos of Jessica Simpson's body evolution. I'm apparently completely without any morals now. 

I blame my hair coloring.

4. I have eaten a s'more almost every night since I arrived at my parents' house.  I feel gluttonous about this, but also feel that it's arguable by the fact that it's a s'more.  Aren't these the pinnacle of desserts? 

Stella just likes the marshmallows

5.  Is anyone else feeling totally enticed by all JC Penny's (JCP if you're hip, Penny's if your old,)recent marketing?  I mean, the catchy tune, the bright jeans, that adorable tiny green car?

Now if only I knew a child that needed a free haircut they are giving away this month...

Yeah, I'm making an appointment tomorrow.

He's starting to look like that guy from Sons of Anarchy.  He's probably already working on a gun running scheme and plotting to hurt people that hurt my feelings.  He needs a tattoo ASAP.

6. I took my boys to a public pool today and all they wanted to do was play with me.  I feel like they don't even know me.  I do not want to play in the pool, that's not who I am.  That's their father's job.  I enjoy watching from a safe distance and complaining about splashing. 

I'm fun in my own way.

I think.

I discovered man that looked a lot like a boy I had a crush on in high school, but significantly more tan.  I spent the first half of our time at the pool trying to figure out if it was actually him, and then how he got so tan.  I felt genuine concern that a man that tan is surely not employed, possibly even afflicted with the tragic tanorexic problem that I think usually strikes women. 

It wasn't him. After that I had even less enthusiasm for the pool.

Am I the only Mom that doesn't want to "play" in the pool?

Could this be a result of too much violent TV and hair color?

Can men be tanorexic?


Mel said...

Hey, in this day and age, anyone can be anything they want to be! If that means being tanorexic, then men should go for it!! Also, if you are at your parents house then you are automatically considered a kid again and therefore deserve a s'more every. single. night.

momnextdoor said...

You described me in the pool setting. I say "quit the splashing" more times then I care to count. And yeah, I don't want to play in the pool. That water is coooold!

Oh, and I agree with your parents house you are totally allowed to eat s'mores every single night...guilt free! Being home is glorious, isn't it?

Amanda @ Life, Experience Needed said...

I am not a fan of the getting splashed; it's a daddy job.
And glad you're enjoying SOA - it's one of our fav shows right now (my husband wants to start a bikers club now, can we could you guys in? LOL)

January Dawn said...

Isn't that actor George whatshisname tanorexic? He's old and has that mole near his lip....anyway he's proof than men can in fact be tanorexic. I just may have to check out Sons of Anarchy - you have me intrigued! And as for public pools - they kind of gross me out. Especially when there are lots of kids and it's indoor. Ew. Splashing with my kids in a public pool is not high on my list of good times. I'm with you sister.

Lee Ann said...

I have no idea what the title means! Prob because I am
From Scotland, so I am foreign and probably the weird (or simply rubbish) kind.

I don't live pools either, I float ok but please don't ask me to swim. I tend to swim like a hippo! I just slowly sink as I make my way across the pool!!

S'mores every night?? Sounds like a good summer! We only eat fake s'mores here, can't get graham crackers because I live in Scotland .... Boo. But we have other stuff I guess, like rain!!! Xx

RookieMom Whitney said...

I am also a pro at sitting near the pool without getting in it.

Thanks for the TV recommendation.

I'm deeply curious about having a 3 week vacation ritual. Where is your husband during this time? Long vacations are not a "thing" around here. Mostly cause of jobs. But, I mean, my job goes with me. I could go to my hometown for three weeks. {thinking deep thoughts about if my parents could tolerate living with us for such a stretch.}

The Preppy Girl in Pink said...

I never want to play at the pool unless I have had a couple cocktails poolside. I'm no fun at the pool. :-(
As for tanorexic men, I think they are catching up to the numbers of women these days. I'm all about umbrellas and sunscreen. They may look good now with their bronze skin but in 10 years from now, they'll look like beef jerky. (or at least I hope, they can't always be so bronze and their skin not fall off, right?!)

Anna See said...

i feel like i paid my dues in the pool a long time ago. now it's my husband's job.

Adrienne said...

Smore's rock! Period! I have never watched Sons of Anarchy, but I have had addictions to other shows that made me feel like I might just wake up with man parts due to all the guns, blood, and testosterone. I was completely obsessed with Prison Break. Wentworth Miller? No? Why his parents named him that I will never understand...