Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Happy Birthday?

It's been a difficult day...Cole style.

If you've read for long, you know that Cole has a tendency to make things interesting around here.  Shoes thrown at me while driving, over-turned furniture, lots and lots of sleep deprivation. Ever since we visited the witch doctor and took him off dairy, things really had been different around here.

(For some of my more interesting/difficult days you can read them here or here or here or here.)

But not today.  For some reason today was Cole, full-dairy style...and I really didn't want today to be like that for him or for me.

See, he's five today.  FIVE! 

It hardly seems possible...and yet I still find myself wondering how he isn't at least 11 yet given the amount of emotion I've poured in to this middle child of mine. 

I would show you a picture of the day he was born, but in typical middle child style, I can't find one.  Yes, I know, it's awful. I spent a full hour today digging through file cabinets and stacks of random DVDs and old photos, but I can't find one.

 Mom guilt in full effect.

Fear not though, there has been no shortage of Cole birthday attention around here recently, he has been well acknowledged.

We've spent the last week attempting to explain the difference between his birthday party, last Saturday, and the date of his actual birthday, today. It's really not sinking in, and I'm not sure why we are working at it at all since he still firmly believes Tuesday comes after Friday and can not grasp the fact that 30 minutes is substantially less than 3 hours.

Birthday, birthday party, same?

We celebrated this weekend with a gymnastics ninja party, with his handpicked invitees.  There are new Legos everywhere and for the first time, he's putting them together without assistance...and bragging about it accordingly. 

(I'm going to take a moment to point out that I decorated these ninja cupcakes myself from a Pinterest photo.

Surely he should be a joyful boy for months after a bakery delight such as this?)

He's worn his Birthday Boy t-shirt for 3 out of the last 4 days and I assume will push the celebration of this milestone birthday for at least another three, he's like me, it's important to let other people know they should be celebrating you.  Birthday month and birthday week are phrases that need to be repeated often.

Unfortunately, today is his actual day and he's, well as I mentioned, he's in  mood.

I had visions of taking and delivering food requests for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, fully prepared to fix pancakes three times a day.  I thought we'd hit the park or the bounce house, or maybe even the mall's cheap quarter rides for an hour or so.  The possibilities were endless.  I was up for some Cole indulging.

Instead, Cole had been in time out four times by the time we were leaving to meet his new teacher and he decided to throw a BIG fit upon being told he was going to spend 30 minutes in his new class while I listened to the parent orientation meeting.  He actually had to be restrained by his teachers while I left. 

Everything he is asked to do or experience today is "dumb" or "stupid."  Stella, nor I, can do no right. There is no putting on a shoe, only throwing. 

Cole and I just had a 10 minute argument about whether or not my Father told him that fall follows spring and is more hot than summer....and yes, I realize I had no business engaging in this idiotic discussion, but sleep was difficult last night and my ability to be the bigger person has vanished.

Oh Cole.

I know I celebrated him on Saturday at his party, but I wanted to celebrate him today.  I wanted to remember five years ago when I was driving to the hospital with Alex to have him, filled with excitement. I wanted to remember how quickly he arrived and how sweet he was those first few days in the hospital, just the two of us.

I guess in typical Cole style though, I was reminded that it isn't up to me.  He's going to choose his path.

I might spend more emotional energy, more tears on trying to raise Cole, but I know, this kid is worth it. 

Cole, the love I have for you is fierce.  You, can more quickly can drive me mad, and make me laugh, than your siblings.  Your faith, your joy, your determination to get your way are qualities I don't recognize in myself and I am captivated by you.  I feel honored to be your mother, and challenged by the way you never let me off easy. 

You are the worst liar I have ever seen, but the best at keeping the stories interesting.  You are more joyful about a Lego, a dog, a cool picture, a funny TV show, or a silly prank than anyone I know.  You try big words and make even the simplest sentences hysterical. You stir in me the use nicknames, which I strongly dislike, having me call you Colio, Cole-Train, Cole Cuts, Cole-Cole.  You don't mind playing alone or changing all the rules, you have your own sense of how this whole thing is supposed to be played out.

You are stronger than you know, and  I pray every day that I'm strong enough to direct and encourage all your amazing qualities.  I can't wait to see where you go.

It might not have been how I wanted it to be, and it might not have been the most fun, but I couldn't be more happy to celebrate YOU, turning the very big and very important five!


Linking up to Shell's Pour Your Heart Out! Check it out here.


Shell said...

Oh, how I relate to this.

Parenting my middle is different that with my others. It's often harder, but he loves so fiercely. And I love him fiercely in return.

Kmama said...

I'm sorry the day didn't turn out as you had intended, but it sounds like Cole had a decent birthday (party) anyway.

Mel said...

Sounds like hugs and high fives are in order all around!

Caitlin MidAtlantic said...

Happy birthday! I am a middle child... we can be tricky, but we mean well! Five is such a big year - I hope it was the only rough spot in a wonderful 6th year!

Kimberly said...

Happy birthday to your crazy little man! I cannot believe how grown-up he looks all of a sudden. Here's hoping you both have a wonderful year ahead.

AudreyN said...

Happy 5th Birthday!

Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

Ah, the joys of parenting, huh? So much job mingled with so much PAIN! Happy birthday to the little dude!

Lynda Halliger-Otvos said...

Five, how'd that happen anyway, big Fella ?~! As a middle child-yepp, ain't we fun ?~!

Wayne W Smith said...

Happy belated birthday to the little guy. I am glad to read that he is doing much better for the most part.

Emmy said...

Let's just assume he is getting it all out now and will be the best most wonderful teenager in the world :)

And you are a very good mama.