Sunday, July 8, 2012

Seven (Don't Worry, This is Much Different Than That Brad Pitt Movie, It's Just a List.)

It's been a long holiday weekend.  Alex has been off work since the Fourth and honestly, it's starting to freak me out a little bit to have a husband around so much. 

Freaked out in a good way of course.

Being that I'm freaked out though, here's seven quick things, because that's when my brain shut down from all the excitement of having extra help around here.

1. I checked Wuthering Heights out of the library last week in hopes that I could read it and counteract some of the intellectually toxic novels I have been reading.  I've even been practicing my English accent and watching extra episodes of Downton Abbey so that I could more accurately understand the story.

Unfortunately, I'm only on page 7. I've been on page 7 since the first night I tried to read and fell immediately asleep.  I can't stop reading the 14th, yes 14th, don't judge me, book in the ridiculous Stephanie Plum series about a female bounty hunter. 

Maybe my brain is permanently damaged?

2.  As a result of an undetermined incident of trauma, Stella has chipped one of her front teeth.  She now has a snarl tooth and will now be mistaken for a child without parents who care about buying her tiny character covered toothbrushes and toothpaste that tastes like candy. 

Or, people might think she does meth. 

Probably meth.  She totally could be doing meth behind my back.

3. Alex and I had our first major parenting mistake tonight when we tried to watch Jumanji for Family Sunday Night Movie Time. 

(This time does not actually exist on a regular basis though capitalizing Family Sunday Night Movie Time makes you think it could.  I'm so deceptive!  My apologies.)

This movie is freaky and weird and terrified my boys.  Stella mostly giggled and tried on every one's shoes so I assume she is mentally tougher than they are, most likely as a result of her new drug problem. 

I'm not entirely opposed to scaring my children, but their fear meant that they couldn't go to sleep until 9:00, over an hour after they should have been in bed due to their state of exhaustion. Anything that prolongs bedtime will forever be banished from my house. 

I would like to formally declare Jumanji pure evil. 

4. Having Fourth of July in the middle of the week meant for a short work week for Alex and some serious quality time as a family, which I think is supposed to be a really good thing.

Unfortunately, I spent all Thursday feeling confused about the fact that it wasn't Monday and was forced to keep reminding myself that there would sadly not be any new Bachelorette on TV for another FIVE torturous days.  Holidays are deceptive and mean like that.  No one wants to be misled  and disappointed about the Bachelorette. 

Go Arie!

5. Stella, Aiden, Alex and I all slept in this morning until 9:00.  This is pure insanity and I don't even know how to explain it.  I can only assume that there is some high level of carbon monoxide in our house and we almost died. 

I also assume Cole is immune to the negative affects of carbon monoxide poisoning since he was up at 7, which totally makes sense. 

6. Alex and I just finished watching the second season of Downton Abbey, because we're raw like that. Being completely at a loss, we watched the first episode of Sons of Anarchy, since that seemed like a good follow up to PBS English television. 

We're digging it.  We relate, we understand, and we might be sporting more leather if you see us in the next few weeks, try to be supportive.

7.  My paychecks are rolling in from my new gig at Noonday.

Unfortunately, they are also rolling out since I have to be around stuff like this all day.

How do I see this and not purchase it?  I might have a daughter on meth, surely I deserve cool earrings made from remnants of ammunition that look fantastic with essentially everything I put on, including my minivan? 

I bet they look great with leather too. 

I'm such a badass now.


Kimberly said...

My little sister and I loved Jumanji as kids, but my brother HATED it. Scared him to death. So much so that we could get him to leave us alone simply by chanting, "Jumanji drums!" over and over again while beating our hands on whatever hard surface we were close to. This is the same brother with severe ADHD, ODD, and possible RAD. The fact that it was a successful way to actually get him out of our hair for a short while means that that movie will always hold a special place in my heart.

And poor Stella! At least it's a baby tooth, and didn't do any nerve damage. Chipped teeth can be awful.

♥Messy Jessy♥ said...

Son's Of Anarchy is my FAVORITE! I am totally addicted to this show and can NOT wait until the new season starts!

I don't blame you for buying such pretty things! How can you pass them up? ESPECIALLY if you get a discount... you do don't ya?

Hope you had a good weekend and everything gets back into the swing of things smoothly.

Lynda Halliger-Otvos said...

Stella's in good company; Dooce's younger daughter broke a tooth similarly to Stella's and it has given her an endearing childhood look.

I have spent the entire "weekend" in traction with my lower back acting like it was being stood on by a small elephant. Had said 'hefalump' been any larger I may have had an ER visit in there too. Sux to be me this week !~! Hoping that visit with doc 2moro resolves it in one direction or another

Catie said...

Ha! I love this post. I needed this humor today, my hubs is back at work after 5 days at home with me and the kids. :/

Amanda @ Life, Experience Needed said...

Good call on Sons of Ararchy. It's one of my husband and I's favourite shows. It just keeps getting better and better.

Poor Stella, hope it didn't hurt when she chipped it.

And love those earrings

Mel said...

Girl, I suspect she broke that tooth due to her mother who irresponsibly feeds her gum!!! I kid. The Nugget broke at tooth at age one and it looks very much like Stella's. It adds to their charm.

On another note, I've never watched Downton Abbey, however I see the name in print a lot and it bugs me because my mind wants to make it Down -TOWN Abbey. Stupid English.

Shell said...

I love the Stephanie Plum books. I'm totally Team Ranger.

Jumanji is pretty freaky.

WhisperingWriter said...

I could never read Wuthering Heights either. I tried several times and gave up.

The Preppy Girl in Pink said...

Stella the meth junkie. Oh my goodness! You had me cracking up! As for Jumanji, my girls love it and have since the very 1st time they saw it. I think you just need to wear more badass leather around the boys and they'll come around to it. ;-)

momnextdoor said...

Oh good, Stella and Bud can be friends, what with her chipped tooth and his silver crowns! Awesome!

I agree that mid-week holiday's are no well planned. Can we petition so that doesn't happen again?