Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Will Smith Has All The Answers

I think it's important that you know that I am now quoting Will Smith songs as an integral part of my parenting techniques.

Yesterday I actually said the following to Aiden, "through life people will make you mad, disrespect you and treat you bad.  Let God deal with the things they do, because hate in your heart will consume you too."

Feel free to now break in to song...."Just the two of us..." 

I don't know why this came out of my mouth, but it is really good advice.  Maybe tomorrow I'll throw out some Miami lyrics, surely there's probably a little lesson hidden in every one of Will's songs. 

In other news, Alex wants me to go see a therapist. 

(Surprisingly not for my recent tendency to turn to Will Smith for words of wisdom.) 

I think I agree with him. 

I'm angry.  I'm often too angry to be nice to our children, even when they aren't actually being horrible. 

I know you might be shocked, but it's true...there are moments when my children aren't horrible. I hate to admit it since I'm firmly stuck in the tortured stay at home Mom mode recently, but they can be great.  They are particularly good after some time away.

I had a life altering good time with my girlfriends a few weekends ago.  The weekend with these amazing women is by far my favorite of the year, this was no exception.  We basically lounged all weekend in a gorgeous home, on a serene lake, in an adorable Indiana town. 


Oh, and we went on a boat.

Everything's better on a boat.  I bet Will would agree.  Does he have a boat song?

These women (plus Kathryn and Carrie who are not in the photo) make me so happy!

Stella and Cole did great with my parents, and Aiden had a wonderful time staying home with Alex.  It sort of made me think that everyone should just have stayed where they were.  My parents did a great job raising me, surely they could take care of Cole and Stella too while I ride around on a boat with my girlfriends for the next few years. 

You know what else is making things a little better around here?

That's right. A Simplehuman, 13 gallon, fingerprint proof, trashcan.  I didn't get the recycle combo, but it's fantastic.  I love it.

I don't foresee it joining the trashcan graveyard we have in the garage anytime soon. Will should rap about trash cans, they really can make a lot better in one's life.


Also life altering...much like Will Smith, I too now have a job.  I get paid money and get to leave my house.  If only it were to be a rap star or to make my kid star in another Karate Kid movie. 

I went to work on Tuesday and it was all sorts of wonderful.  I put pretty jewelry in packages and wrote little messages to the recipients. 

(Order something and I'll write you a note!!) 

There were no children there.

There were just adults working on ideas and resolutions to problems and periodically talking to me. No one whined or asked for juice....not once.  I think I might move there.  I didn't sign anything about not sleeping there and they have some really comfy looking scarves.

I completed shipment after shipment without interruption.  My friend asked my opinion of a scarf color option and it felt joyous to care about yarn colors instead of the exact location of a microscopic sized plastic gun that I have never seen.

I was asked to think about a photo spread concept and it immediately filled my brain for hours after I left.  I felt like I was an important, worldly, capable woman, even when I was back in my minivan driving to a doctor's appointment with children complaining of an inability to "hold it" until we made it to the office. 

The only downside is that there are so many gorgeous pieces of jewelry accessible to me that I surely will be spending way too much money on accessories.  What's a working girl to do though? I have to look good.  I'm currently coveting these:

I'm in quite a pickle. 

My Mom left Tuesday (shout out for Mom's birthday!!!) and with her departure brings the actual start of summer. Aiden's been out of school for over a week, but attempting a day with just the kids and me means summer is officially legit.  I'm scared.

My Mom only booked a trip here because I literally was falling apart the week before I left for Indiana.  I honestly couldn't handle another day around here.  I had locked myself in my bedroom to cry while the kids ran around wild.  I did come out to save the dog when it sounded like they were being a tad too playful with her.  I might be sad, but I'm not cruel.

I'm not sure if you've noticed, but I'm not writing very often.  I don't have the time, or more importantly the energy to work it in to my waking hours.  I'm too drained and far too overwhelmed to do much more than shower and zone out to TV or a trashy book. 

(Shades of Grey is next.  Brace yourself Alex, there's been talk.)

Notice I haven't mentioned Cole?  I can't even talk about it anymore.  I don't know what to do with him and I am emotionally drained from thinking and worrying about it.

The Cole update can come tomorrow.  For now it's important I go to sleep.  I fear it might take me at least 30 minutes to get Gettin' Jiggy With It out of my head. 

It's just such a good song. 


Lynda Halliger-Otvos said...

Life sounds like the suckies have you too. Me and my besties are so f'ed right now, Leslie, that we can barely stand to talk to each other-we just break down and cry: breast cancer, dying husband, Crohn's, gastroparesis, diabetes, surgeries, procedures, therapies, crippled dogs, dental bills, dying cars... Jeeeezus, it's so messy right now I'd be floored if you had anything to say about Cole at all. And summer is supposed to be a Good Time ??? says who.

Sending hugs and Birthday Love to your Mom. Try to keep looking up, I hear there'll be a meteor shower some day. Or is that some night?

Adrienne said...

Ohhhh! Just think about all the great material you'll get at therapy! I've been considering going to one myself lately. I have too many things going in my brain, and I need help sorting through them. I mean too sometimes for no reason. That guilt sucks!

Mel said...

So thankful that you have had some healing experiences to help you cope with the harder ones. Speaking from experience, therapy is a life-saving and completely worthwhile investment. I remember a period some years ago of deep depression where I laughed for the first time in months (really laughed) at the movie Men in Black. As it turns out, MIB3 is out right now; maybe Wil could help you out through both movies AND music.

Kmama said...

How is that even when you're feeling so down, you can still make me laugh with your posts? I'm sorry you're going through a rough time. Hang in there!

beyond said...

wishing you all the best.please keep writing.i really enjoy it.

Courteney said...

Hang in there...i feel your pain. Motherhood and life just ain't easy...I wish you all the best. When you feel better, please keep writing because you always make me laugh!!

Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

Well, I am glad that the opportunity to get out a bit and work may help a bit, with the rest of the ickies you have got goin' on. Best of luck, my dear.
Um, I make up awesome raps. Like the other day? I said, "shake it, shake it, shake it like a polariod picture" in a really cool way. It was pretty epic.

January Dawn said...

Oh man Leslie. I am so sorry you're having a rough time. Though - getting a job - yay! It seems everyone is having tough times lately (including myself) - maybe Saturn is in retrograde or something crazy like that. I hope things look up soon for Cole. My heart goes out to you...keep up that fantastic sense of humour though. That's exactly what gets you through life.

Emmy said...

Oh girl I am so sorry. And yes I agree with Kmama- even when you are down and things really suck you are still so creative/entertaining and funny in your writing.
I hope you can figure out what you need a good balance so you can be the best mom you can be and happy too. Maybe getting out and working more if possible-- we all need time away.

Sara said...

Yesterday, my husband emailed me a list of 10 therapists for me to consider. This time in my life with small children that "I'll look back on and miss" is driving me into a depression.

I've given up on my blog temporarily as well. I just don't have the energy, nor do I find anything the kids do particularly cute or entertaining lately.

For what it's worth, I always look forward to seeing what you've written. If you find the energy, you've got a fan.

momnextdoor said...

I love you. (In a non-creepy way of course). I'm sorry that things are getting overwhelming. I hope you do find a therapist that's right for you and get to a happier place.

Just remember, you will survive (hey look, you have a job!) and the kids will survive (even if you lock yourself in your bedroom sometimes).

Good luck and remember you have all your readers that love you and will never, ever ask for juice!


momnextdoor said...

I love you. (In a non-creepy way of course). I'm sorry that things are getting overwhelming. I hope you do find a therapist that's right for you and get to a happier place.

Just remember, you will survive (hey look, you have a job!) and the kids will survive (even if you lock yourself in your bedroom sometimes).

Good luck and remember you have all your readers that love you and will never, ever ask for juice!