Sunday, May 6, 2012

So Yeah, We Were Kicked Off 34th Street

Where have I been? 

Well, this little thing called life seems to be getting in my way quite often lately.  I can't seem to get the laundry and food preparation done, much less take the time to stop and tell you all about it. 

It affects me when I can't write though.  I am cranky and feel extra disorganized.  My mind is clogged with a thousand blog post topics and one-liners that are really fantastic, but seem to have disappeared by the time I get to a computer or piece of scrap paper to jot them down. 

I've been in a bit of a depressed fog all weekend.  My sinuses are killing me, my children are wild, and I haven't had an actual conversation with my husband in over a week...much less any quality time.  If you add my lack of writing or time to complete anything on my priority list, I am a mess. 

All of this leaves me feeling beyond down. 

If I were prone to alcoholism or drug use, I would be hitting it all pretty hard right now.

When I woke this morning I was in so much pain that I immediately started steaming hot compresses on my sinus passages. 

(Yes, Mom, I hear you when you suggest such nonsense and I do actually do it.)

As I leaned over my sink with the steaming washcloth I cried and wallowed in feeling trapped in this house and chained to these kids.  Lots of self-pity, super healthy and very good for clogged sinuses.

I followed that by the netti pot and some more tears over my lack of clarity about my current place in life.

Next was Mucinex D and self doubt.

By 11 am I had stopped crying though and decided that it's possible that I just need to do something on my massive list of tasks over which I wallow in self-pity every night because non of it is getting done.  My former therapist taught me this trick.  It is essentially the only thing I remember from my time with him.  So after months of therapy and lots of money, I retained the ability to make lists and cross off to-do items.  Genius and so innovative!

Nothing fuels my positive energy though like completing something I have put off, so maybe that therapist knew his stuff .

But then Alex suggested we all go eat hamburgers.  So what's girl to do? 

Eat some hamburger, of course. I think my therapist would have done that too.

(Turns out this also makes me feel happier....Mom, I'd like you to refrain from any comments about how I need to eat more regularly or more often.)

Now that I'm writing though I feel caught up in all the posts I've written in my head the last week or so.  The truth is, a lot has been happening and I'm not sure where to start.

For today I'll just cover Cole.  I don't know if I have the emotional or humor energy to cover the other topics now.

I took Cole to a whole body health doctor.  He specializes in acupuncture, witch craft, chiropractory, diet, massage, and voodoo.  Just kidding, he doesn't advertise voodoo or witch craft. 

He tested  Cole's food sensitivities with a strange, seemingly pretend muscle test that freaked me out and mesmerized me.  He could have just been David Blaine, but I believed in what he was doing.  He talked to me a lot about Cole as a baby, my pregnancy, Cole's diet, and the stress level in our house. 

Uh-oh.

The doctor ordered a brain chemistry test for hormones related to sleep, and then he felt Cole's head a lot, which I am sure had something to do with Cole's spine but I think he was casting a spell.  I watch The Vampire Diaries and watched a handful of that show Charmed, I know how things work.  This is all out of my normal boundaries and I was fairly certain we were going to have to light a candle and chant until a feather levitated, but I trusted and loved how the whole thing went. 

Turns out I really dig witch doctors.

The end result was that Cole has a dairy intolerance which is jacking with his system.  Apparently this can change all sorts of things in a young, growing body and cause your balance of hormones to get all sorts of off kilter, affecting things like behavior, sleep, diet, sinus pressure, etc.

Not that Cole has any issues with those things.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  

If you would like a quick look back at some of the more noteworthy Cole prompted blogs, here and here and here and here are a few to give you an idea of my life with Cole over the past few years. 

Oh, and my personal favorite, here.

Poor kid has dark circles under his eyes constantly, can't hold it together when anything is off kilter or requested of him, sleep is a challenge all around, and he is anxious and fearful of the most insane things...flushing toilets, bathtubs filling with water, new people, dark-ish-ness, being alone, a variety of toys, my hair when it's wet, spiders, and all sorts of other things. 

Yes, some are normal kid things, but all of it together is too much.  Cole has become a huge issue for this family.  We are falling apart here with the tension and stress.  It's time to try a witch doctor and if it means taking dairy out of his diet, goodbye cow milk! Hello soy and coconut and almonds!

The doctor does also want to adjust his neck on Thursday and I have gotten a slew of very passionate responses from friends and family members about this one.  People seem to love or hate chiropractors.  There is not a lot of gray about this profession, and unfortunately I am all gray when it comes to my opinion.  I'm still working on the answer to that method of treatment.

For now though, we've removed dairy from his diet and I am experiencing the joy of having a child with a diet restriction.  Let me sum it up for you:  it blows. 

We called four hamburger places before finding one that could handle a dairy free bun AND burger.  We all wanted ice cream after, but Alex and I pretended that was an awful idea, even though we both were salivating over the milkshakes, because Cole can't have it.  We even called our favorite yogurt place to see if they had a dairy free option, no luck.

I keep thinking of all the things he can't have now and it makes me sad.  Nutella, Starbucks hot chocolate, donuts, enchiladas, bagels and cream cheese, butter.  Oh butter.

Cole loves his almond milk though, sweetened and unsweetened, and has no problem with the soy or coconut milk yogurts.  I prepared almond milk cheddar cheese quesadillas the other night and all three kids gobbled them up like they were full real cheddar!  Suckers. We haven't tried pizza yet, but our local pizza place offers soy cheese for an extra $1.50 (all the speciality stuff costs a pretty penny.)

According to the witch doctor though, after four to six weeks without dairy we will have a new kid. I am assuming he means Cole's behaviors will be transformed, but he could actually be working on a replacement kid for us right now.  Either way, I'm praying that this makes a difference like I've heard it can, so my sweet boy can feel better and enjoy his life more often. 

Or, we can work on getting used to the new kid.  I hope that kid likes bunk beds....

I sure pray I get to keep Cole though.  Surely the witch doctor wouldn't dream of replacing someone with the capacity to look this adorable.

say SOY!


7 comments:

in the coop said...

I don't know anything about chiropractors, dietary restrictions, or witch doctors, but I wish you much luck. With whichever kid you end up keeping.

Kmama said...

So, we know all about dietary restrictions AND chiropractic adjustments for kiddos.

Buddy has a slew of food allergies, so we dodged milk, sesame, coconut, eggs, nuts, and peanuts for a few years. His allergies are better, so some of that stuff has been reintroduced. Lucky for us though, he can eat stuff with dairy in it, just not DRINK milk. Oh, and try sorbet. Certain sorbets don't have dairy in it at all. We never went out for ice cream....just bought it and had it at home.

As for chiropractic adjustments...go for it. Buster fell ON HIS HEAD off of a climbing toy at daycare and I thought he broke his collar bone. He didn't, but he pulled muscles in his neck. After a month of him still having a hard time turning his head, I took him to a chiropractor and it was awesome. Just 2 visits and he was back to normal.

momnextdoor said...

Holding out hope that the witch doctor was accurate and going non-dairy will get you back on 34th street, STAT!

As someone who deals with diet restrictions, I'm the first to admit it sucks. However, it will get easier. I promise you! You'll learn all the places you CAN go and just what to order and how to order it and you won't even think about it after a while, it becomes second nature. It is definitely an inconvenience but it won't always be horrible. Promise. Promise.

Good luck and keep us posted!

Kelli @ RTSM said...

We dealt with food allergies when my oldest was little...so not fun telling a two year old he can't eat goldfish! It gets easier with time though, and you get used to what they can and can't have. I am totally gray on chiropractors too...honestly I don't even know enough to have an opinion about them!

MKLackey said...

The only useful information I have to offer here is that you can still get Starbucks hot chocoloate - just ask for soy milk! That's all I got. But, it's something. :)

Adrienne said...

The caption "say soy" made me laugh out loud alone in my room! As always, your post is full of wit and honestly. I love it! I hope the dairy issue helps Cole.

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