Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Spring Break: Day Two, I Discover I Could Find Employment As A Magician

Over the past few years of writing this blog, several people have suggested I get a job to get away from my kids, which I sort of agree with in theory.  I think I could use a break, even if only to pay for the childcare.  It would probably be very healthy for my mental state.

I want to be home with my kids, but even two days a week of something I could do that does not involve them, that requires me to think beyond laundry and meals, sounds spectacular. 

The idea is full of logistical problems though, like finding employment for my unskilled self which could even come close to paying for childcare.  Or, simply finding employment.

I think I need to be a therapist, or a nutritionist, or a physicist...any kind of 'ist' would probably work for easier employment than the laundress, cook, maid, and taxi driver I currently am. 

Wait....maybe I could drive a taxi? 

Must explore further.

Honestly, the problem really lies with Stella. She may be adorable, but she really puts a kink in tivities or really doing anything at all.  I love doing things with the boys.  They are both out of diapers, done with naps, capable of eating anything, able to tell me when they need something, understanding-ish of consequences. Stella isn't there yet and it frankly makes doing almost anything exhausting to balance her needs with the boys.

It is life right now though and I swear I will try to not let the complaining dominate this blog, at least when it's not done in a fun sarcastic way....because I know the sarcasm is not going away.

Moving on....

Good news everyone! I tried this new trick I heard about where you think positive thoughts and decide to be happy and see if you actually start to feel happy. Has anyone else done this?  I think it's new.

I woke with a fierce determination to not be annoyed or overwhelmed by my kids, but rather just go with the flow today. I was pretty good at being easy yesterday, but I didn't thoroughly enjoy day one of spring break.

Day two was all about enjoyment and positive thoughts.  I was basically a yoga instructor, or a hypnotist, or a magician, or something else that is zen and happy.  Wait...are magicians happy?

The day started with coffee with this guy.

It usually takes me a few minutes to accept that I will have zero moments without a child in my face, but this morning it was tough to not sit with my coffee and watch this guy color his self made Jesus coloring book.  It was all sorts of adorable.

I also agreed to play war with the boys and was rewarded by the Spring Break Magician Gods in the manner of losing almost immediately and getting to just watch and commentate while I read a few blogs. 

We then had Cole's first swim lesson. I didn't yell once getting all of them dressed and out of the door, or on the thirty minute drive.  I'm amazing!

Cole also swam really well, which I can only assume can be credited to me also.  I also kept Stella from jumping in to the pool and drowning, so I am an awesome Mom and maybe even a swim coach. 

Maybe I could be a swim coach two days a week?

I then lost my mind and went to the outlet mall to buy all three children the worst shoes on Earth.  $115 of plastic shoes that often shrink in the sun and rub Aiden's feet the wrong way.  It was fun though, even amusing when Stella continually tried to leave the store wearing her unpaid for shoes.

You know how fun stealing can be. 

This is the worst $115 I have ever spent (possibly)...but I kept smiling!

You know who was not very zen though after the shoe purchase?  Stella.

She refused to accept that I didn't have money for any of the mini rides in the middle of the outlet mall.  She had a full blown fit about the bus she climbed in never singing or bouncing.  It's tough. 

She was much happier when we got home and she could spend 15 minutes finding a roly-poly to watch.  I really tried to stay happy during this time, but this part of the day was really, really boring. The boys even abandoned me and went inside the house to clean up...they were that bored.

I did receive a fun pick me up in the mail from my Dad.  Always the source for amusement.

That is my coloring from back in the day when I actually had to use my brain during the day. 

I think it was third grade.

This was my Dad's note.

Wouldn't it be super fun if I could figure out how to rotate this picture?  It just wasn't happening tonight.  Sorry folks.

I would like to point out that my Father didn't try to fit in the word refridgerator on one line.  He's particular like that.

The afternoon really tested my determination to enjoy the day when I took the kids to this park.

It's their favorite so I scored big with that, but it's basically a giant wood fort, which creates several problems.  Stella isn't big enough to climb through this by herself so I found myself in small wooden nooks and crannies trying to save her life, time and time again, which became a bit stressful.

It's also challenging to know when my own child is screaming, "Mommy!" as opposed to every other child there.  They all sound like my kids and I can't see any of them so it was a bit disturbing...but fun! I persevered with the good thoughts.  I am a champ.  I also am obviously super kind because I comforted and helped several stranger children.

There were also several injuries, surprisingly none of which were splinters, which is what I feel should be happening here every 3-7 minutes. Aiden scraped his back and bumped his head four times.  Cole fell off a rope bridge and cried a lot, though the specific pain couldn't be determined.  Stella was actually injury free, but she did try to go home with another family when we were leaving.  I guess she didn't dig my whole new positive thinking vibe.

I totally agree with Stella.  I'm not a positive thinking magician sort of gal.

I am a turkey burger picnic accompanied with wine (only for me because I'm responsible,) sort of gal though.

I think I'll take the day off from forced enjoyment tomorrow for Day Three of Spring Break, but in all honesty the spring break thing is going much better than I thought it would.  I'm confident I will survive.

There's still a good chance I'll devote at least 45 minutes to Monster.com tomorrow.  Is that still where people look for work?  Do people say look for work if it isn't physical labor?  I am in no way interested in physical labor, just to be clear.  I'd like to be a human resources professional, like the head of HR.

Do you think that requires experience?

Again, if you have a moment and could vote for me on Circle of Moms I would LOVE you.  Seriously. 

Just click on the Circle of Moms link on the right side of my blog and then find The Mommy Therapy, and vote!  Please. I'd love to get back in the top 25 so I don't have to go be a taxi driver or magician.

Actually, getting in the top 25 wouldn't mean I definitely wouldn't have to have either of those jobs, but it would probably help a little.  I think.  Let's not take any chance though.  I'd probably rarely have time to blog if I had to learn a shitload of magic tricks. 

Linking up with Shell's TWO YEAR ANNIVERSARY of Pour Your Heart Out!  Go check it out!  Congratulations Shell, you are awesome!


Emmy said...

Yea! You did it!!! Even one day of happy mommy is something to celebrate for sure.

I am totally in the same boat with Ryder-- the other two will often just go off and play together but then I still have Ryder I to entertain. Don't get me wrong, he is my favorite and I love him, but the whole being a toddler still makes me have to do more with him. :)

MKLackey said...

You should look at Starbucks...easy, smells good, and the perks have to be great. Ha! :)

Samantha said...

I love finding a blog that is equally as sarcastic as I am...sometimes sarcasm isn't understood :)

My four year old still hasn't reached the point where she's enjoyable to go out with just yet. She's still pretty needy. And she likes to try out every single public restroom she can. I'm pretty sure she's broken some type of public restroom user record.

I've practiced that whole happy thoughts thing and it does work...I should do it more often though. I think I'm grouchy more times than none.

Thank you for visiting & commenting on my blog! Definitely your newest follower!

momnextdoor said...

I think you should go to your local high school and check out the bulletin board where they post job offerings. If whoever is advertising is willing to hire a teenager then they would LOVE to have you, plus it obviously requires zero experience. Let's not dwell on the fact that you would be stealing a job from a teenager, let's focus on it being an easy job that gets you out of the house! :-)

Way to go with the positive thinking! I should try that sometime. Although, screaming at the top of my lungs and shaking from the lack of control is pretty fun. I kind of get a buzz afterwards. Or that might be guilt, I'm Catholic so it's hard to tell.

It would be pretty cool if you were a magician.

Shell said...

You did all that in ONE day? that's like a week's worth of activity here!

Mary said...

I completely feel for you. I was just thinking today how amazingly cute my now ten year old daughter was (still is) when she was a toddler and also how incredibly boring it was to go to parks, watch pill bugs, do puzzles, read out loud, go to libraries, etc. It is fantastic that I no longer need to know what goes on in that bathroom at all. I thought that part would never end. Now I have to figure out how to help her feel good about herself when another kid gets the art prize or her story doesn't get noticed by a teacher. It's hard. I found myself just telling her yesterday, "Never, ever, ever, ever give up." That's about all I could muster. This morning I noticed in her journal (that was open next to her bed, I swear) she wrote that exact sentence and put my name underneath it with "my Mom" in parenthesis. Anyway, you're doing great I'm sure and this will end very soon. Don't you hate when people say that?

Bobbi said...

I love that park. But it does give me anxiety. Just when in think I know where my 3yo is, she's gone again. That place is a child's and pedophile's dream come true. And if that's not an indication of awesomeness, I don't know what is!

Bobbi said...

Oh, and don't apply to Starbucks. I tried in college- it was the most intense job interview I've ever experienced. Including post-college career jobs. Questions like:
How will Starbucks help you to achieve your hopes and dreams for the future?
Tell me about a time that you went above and beyond to change someone's life...

The Preppy Girl in Pink said...

I'm exhausted! I'm going to have to go grab a beer and put MY feet up!! Can't believe you did all that in one day! I'm going to vote for you just for surviving all of that.
Btw, I love how Stella was outside playing without those "plastic" shoes on after you just spent all of that money.

The Preppy Girl in Pink said...

I'm exhausted! I'm going to have to go grab a beer and put MY feet up!! Can't believe you did all that in one day! I'm going to vote for you just for surviving all of that.
Btw, I love how Stella was outside playing without those "plastic" shoes on after you just spent all of that money.

Natalie @MamaTrack said...

What a full day. Seriously. I need a nap just reading it.

My oldest is still in need of entertainment (2.5), so I'm not there yet. But I look forward to it.

Jessica said...

You did all of that in a day!?! That's incredible! You are definitely skilled! I'd hire you if I could! Ha!

p.s. Thanks for stopping by and commenting on my blog! I love all I've read of your blog thus far, so I look forward to getting to know you better!