This seemed like a sign directly from God.
It seemed to say clearly, "Your house is nasty. Quit avoiding it and clean immediately."
I hate mean signs.
It was true though, my house really needed to be cleaned. So after Aiden got off the bus, I distributed Nilla Wafers and Nutella with milk for all three kids, informed them I was going to be cleaning all afternoon and their expectations of me should be lower than usual, and I dove right in.
Since I feel like I might fall over from exhaustion, I figured I'd simply share some of the revelations I had while cleaning.
1. Acting enthusiastic and calling clean-up a game does not elicit a more positive response from children being told to clean up all their stuff.
2. I would be a horrible maid. I would never show up at a regularly scheduled day and time, I am easily grossed out by my own family's nastiness, and I get progressively more and more lazy the longer I clean, eventually stashing things under furniture and pretending I don't see spots.
3. Cleaning, like most things, is best done to music. As with running, Eminem, Pitbull, Rhianna and the like were excellent partners in attacking the grime today.
4. I am capable of accomplishing almost anything in an insanely small amount of time if someone else will occupy my children.
5. Just like sex, cleaning always sounds horrible, but once you get going you are happy to be getting it done.
6. Also like sex, cleaning is best done with rubber gloves. (Fine, that has nothing to do with sex, rubber gloves really do make cleaning better though.)
7. Living with three males means there is a lot of urine in a lot of places. I simply don't understand what is happening and wonder if medical attention should be sought.
8. Cole picks his nose a lot more diligently than I had once thought, and dried snot does not come off a headboard with Pledge.
9. I am a bit of a bleach junkie. I know it's really bad for us and all, but I really don't feel like things are clean without it.
10. I have now watched four seasons, and 87 episodes of Gossip Girl and none of the people on that show would be cleaning their house. I am a worse person for seeing all 87 shows, but now I am desperately seeking season five. Anyone?