Monday, February 20, 2012

Down With Legos! Who's With Me?

I can barely type the word Lego without feeling a surge of anger. 

Legos have literally taken over my home.  I almost weapt when I saw that adorable new line of Legos geared at girls at the end cap of the aisle in Target.  The only thing that had given me a moment of comfort the past few months was that in a few years Cole would be better about keeping his Legos more or less on his giant Lego desk, and this family could just move past this dark time of Lego permeation since our youngest is a girl. 

I'm all for my daughter and sons playing with any toys, regardless of the stereotypical gender for which the toy is intended.  But Legos?  I've been telling Stella over and over that those are the boys' toys, on purpose.  I make a clear point to direct her away from the Legos, even if it's toward the basket of cars.   I probably should be doing this because I fear that she will put one in her mouth and choke, but more than anything I fear that she'll develop a love for them. 

Then there will be more Legos in my house.  I can not have more Legos in my house.

 I'm probably wrecking her development of spatial thinking and whatever else those Legos are supposed to do, but I'm fine with that.  She'll have other skills to survive on, I need to get those Legos the hell out of my house. 
Surely there's a scientist doll, or a carpenter doll who can build a treehouse to inspire her.  Stella can't possibly need the girl Legos to gain this sort of perspective of a female role in life, right?  Doesn't Barbie have a career dream worth copying? 
I think the most frustrating part of Legos is that they hurt, not just emotionally, but physically too.  Those pieces are small and pointy and can wound when walked on in bare feet.  I feel an irrational amount of anger when I hurt myself on one.  I try to keep calm, but my mind fights against all the logic I feel like I usually have and I have visions of throwing all the Legos I can find into a large fire in the backyard or taking a very large hammer and smashing them all to bits. 

Do not worry, I am not doing either of those things for fear of the pshychological damage to my children, which would probably cost an insane amount of money to treat.  Besides, the kids are challenging enough for me as they are, I can not fathom having to put up with extra mental issues which would possibly require even more emotional support from me. I'm just not strong enough for that. I need to continue to supress my Lego rage turning into a truly damaging situation.

I do throw away a fair amount of Legos though.  It's my new rule that if somehting looks like it is completely apart from it's intended set, and I don't know immediately where the intended set is located, it's going in the trash.  This also holds true for anything broken, missing a piece, or repeatedly left scattered all over, like my children's Old Maid card game that they simply could not keep in a box. 

Gone.

The one redeeming quality about Legos is that they can be sucked up in the vacuum. This makes getting rid of the random ones so much easier than larger items. I get a perverse satisfaction everytime I hear the rattle and crack of a primary colored piece of plastic being sucked away with the dirt and crumbs.  There's no bringing it back from the vacuum canister, I'm disgusted by emptying that, no way am I ever picking out the Legos.

I constantly read different organizational methods for our family's supply of Legos, and all of them sound fantastic.  They all leave out one key element though, my children's' ability to scatter bits of toy all over. Even if Cole did play with his Legos in only one location, Stella is relentless in her pursuit of all things small and scatterable. 

Stella will climb chairs, desks, tables, shelves, and pillage any drawer, box or case to find the Legos.  She puts them in her adorable purses and shopping cart, then walks around and throws them in different locations.  I'm confident she targets my walkways.  She has to know she's going to get me or she wouldn't bother.  She can be really mean.

The truth is that I am at a loss for how to proceed.  The boys are far too enchanted by Legos to ban them from the house at this point.  We're in too deep. There's no going back with them...but, please, no one tell Stella that girls can play with Legos too. I'm still holding out hope for her to escape them and give our family our home back.

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Congrats to Kelli of Random Thoughts of A Supermom and Emmy from Emmy Mom - One Day At A Time who just won Amity's beautiful earrings.  Thank you to everyone who entered to win! 

If you didn't win you should still go check out the earrings here, they are pretty awesome.   Amity is basically the most wonderful woman on Earth and she is going to offer all Mommy Therapy readers 25% off because you clearly have good taste in reading.  

Go to Amity's etsy store and enter the coupon code: Mommytherapy25 and let you amazing earrrings change your life.

Emmy and Kelli, I'll have Amity get in touch with you about where to send the earrings.

10 comments:

WhisperingWriter said...

Legos are all over my house too.

And in the vacuum. I suck up tons of Legos by accident.

Those things aren't fun to step on with a bare foot either :/

Lynn Nolte said...

You got me with the title to this one. Haven't even read it yet and know it'll be a favorite. And the prices! Why couldn't I have invented them? Then I could afford a playhouse where I could ditch them all.

yippiemom said...

Purchased a Lego set today. I would never spend a single cent on the horrible things if they didn't provide at least 2-4 hours of quiet play. I have delegated the containment of the Legos to my husband. He is now in charge of all things tiny as I've threatened to slit my wrist with a Lego brick if I have to organize them again.

lcarp51 said...

I bought a couple of shirts for my girlies from this website:
http://pigtailpals.com/index.html
Not obnoxiously feminist. I kinda like them. Anyway. Maybe you can steer Stella into something that doesn't involve Legos but does involve something engineer-y-ish. (I got my girls those big foam blocks and they like them. They are easy to find, they don't hurt, and you can't suck them up in the vacuum.) And if it's any consolation, Barbies with their hands pointed upwards still give you a wicked dent in the bottom of your foot in the middle of the night.

The Lindsey Family said...

I loathe legos. We have the lego table, a lego organizer/storage cabinet, and thousands of legos. I have never understood the allure.

GREAT post!

Emmy said...

I gotta admit I was excited when I saw the girl Legos. Lucas is so into them that Alex wants to be too- but the sets don't interest her that much- but now I want to buy a girl one and build it with her :)
The Legos really do stay in Lucas room though and never wander as he protects them with his life and he will disappear into his room for hours at a time building- so they have become a wondeful glorious thing around here :)

And yea, so excited I won!

momnextdoor said...

I have not bought Bud any Legos. On purpose. He sees them in the store and always asks for them but I can usually distract him with something else. Good luck with Stella!

Two Normal Moms said...

I should mention that as my son got old enough to stop playing with them, he (okay, WE) sold complete sets that had since been discontinued, on eBay for hundreds of dollars altogether. I agree with you - they are dangerous, those things. And they can get in the darnedest places.

Bobbi said...

So glad my oldest is a girl. The boy toy aisle seems so dark and sharp and pointy. I much prefer my baby son's penchant for doll hair. I remember my little brothers playing with legislation and them being everywhere. It was my job to vacuum, so I loved sucking them up too!

Anonymous said...

Ladies please the answer is a big SHOP VAC (16 gallon) all toys shapes and sizes get gobbled up by the mom vac i even had a whole barbie doll go up the hose, i know "evil mommy"