Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Just When You Feel Like You Have It All

The day after Christmas I was struck down by an excruciating sore throat, achy body, and a head that felt like it might explode with pressure.  It was rough, but at least my parents were here to help with the kids so I could spend hours on the couch watching The Help, in between visits to the bathroom to experience the immense joy of the netti pot.

If you are not using a netti pot, you don't know what you are missing.  It not only alleviates a lot of sinus pressure, it also can seriously move some mucous.  It was a perverse, yet extremely wonderful, experience to see what would come out each time I poured that warm water through my sinus passages. 

I have no excuses, I'm just someone that likes stuff like this.

By Thursday though, the joy of the mucous movement wasn't enough, I was off to the see the doctor.

I hadn't been to my general doctor in years. During all my baby producing years I turned to my ob for all things medical. When checking in at the doctor's I was asked to fill out a new medical form due to my prolonged absence. As I ran through the seemingly hundreds of conditions I was to mark if I was affected by them, I realized I have it pretty damn good. 

I had a straight row of solid no's  and n/a's listed.  I contemplated writing in extremely small breasts and anal fissure in the other category, but they just didn't seem relevant for some reason.  Besides, I've come to realize my small breasts actually enable me to comfortably wear a variety of shirts, and my anal fissure is just a weird problem no one tells you can happen when you have a baby because every one's too busy talking about hemorrhoids.  Hemorrhoids get all the glory.

It's true though, I'm blessed.  Being healthy is a gift.  I'm grateful. 

My awareness of my good fortune had been prominent in my brain ever since my visit to the doctor.  I was feeling grateful and happy...until today.  I realized I am faced with a huge problem and I have no idea in what direction to turn.

I know this problem has been creeping up on me over the last few weeks, but it has intensified in the past few days, almost taking over.  I need help.

Look at Stella's hair!

I knew things would be different having a girl, the extra emotions, extra crevices, extra clothing, but no one warned me that growing her hair out would be this challenging.  What do I do with it?

My Mom keeps threatening to cut it, but she cut Aiden's hair once and the only thing good about it was that Aiden got to sit on the tractor while having it done. It did not go well.  Do not believe any commentary she tries to throw at you to the contrary, she is simply lying.

Poor Stella has a couple of inches of hair at the back and then these long, intrusive flocks of stick straight hair coming down in the front.  She refuses to keep her adorable pigtails in her hair and we are basically abandoning her college fund so we can keep a supply of bows around to pull her hair out of her eyes, only to have her repeatedly lose one after another. 

It's like she doesn't even care if she can go join a sorority some day.

What do I do people?  Cut it?  Continue with my pathetic attempts to pull it back and pray for an eventual even growing out?  Apply horse shampoo?  I'm at a loss and it stresses me out to look at it.   I can barely see her through the growth over her eyes, and to honest, she looks a little mad when she runs around babbling with it flapping in all directions.

I think we can all agree that health is great, but good hair changes everything.


Emmy said...

Oh I so know what you mean! I met this guy once and we hung out most of the night- so cute- and then he took off his hat. Bad bad ugly hair and suddenly I wasn't interested.

Not sure what to tell you though- I have one girl and I feel bad for her everyday as I just don't know what to do with hair.

Alyssa said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Alyssa said...

Heehee. Ok. I've been where you are. Trust me when I say: the next stage? Immediately following this one? Is the cute and adorable one. For reals. My daughter went from mad woman to irresistible pixie all on her own, no scissors needed. It's coming. Since i didn't cut, i can't speak for that road or what it may offer. But I do know that if you can stand to wait it out, there are good hair days to come.

Kelly said...

We call it the "fountain", you pull all of the bangs and such in one little ponytail on the top of her head, hopefully she will not pull it out. You can add a bow if you like.

Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

Well, my husband is bald, so he can't agree, but I can! And do I WANT to google this anal thing? I sorta do.

January Dawn said...

Oh man. I wish I could help you...I see where you're having an issue here. However, I have only 2 boys. And they have better hair than I do. Good luck! ;)

Lizbeth said...

We do a whale spout on my daughter's head. Little pony tail right up on top. She usually pulls it out and prefers to run around with hair in her face looking like cousin It. Sigh. It kills me but she just won't let us keep her hair out of her face.

Kimberly said...

Like other people have said, the ponytail on top of the head is always a good option. Use a thin elastic band as opposed to the fabric ones that they market for kids if she pulls them out.

Personally, I think the crazy bed head look is adorable. And it will grow out before you know it.

The Brown Family said...

One of my New Year's resolutions (yes, I'm a dork and still make resolutions that will probably only last three weeks) was to figure out what to do with my girls' hair. It's terrible. I have a three old that often resembles John C. Riley and a two year old the sports a mullet that is too thin to stay in a pony tail. If you come up with any grand toddler hair styles let me know!

mama_pez said...

Reward her. Does she love stickers? Candy? Whatever makes her happy. Put her hair up how you like it and tell her if she keeps it that way, she gets a treat. Wait one minute and say, "Oh, is your hair still pretty? Here is a treat. Keep it up, and you might get another treat." Treat her again in 10 mins, then 1 hour, then as long as you can get away with it until it is her habit to leave her hair alone. :)
Worth a try, anyway...

Maia Dobson said...

Don't get upset if you have small boobs. Remember that beauty lies within. But if it really bothers you, there are professional Long Island plastic surgical group who can help you with your breast size.