The number of times I thought about placing Stella on Craigslist today were countless. If I weren't harboring such negative feelings for Craig, I might have done it. (You can read about those here if you are brave enough.)
Wait...they have a black market for kids on that website, right?
I'm kidding Mom. (And CPS.)
Stella is at the most adorable of ages. She has funny, fluffy hair that looks heart stopping cute in pigtails. She has a dimply butt, in a good way. She loves a game of peek-a-boo. She dances and sings. She runs funny. It's cute, it's all cute...until it's just not.
I have been blown away by the joy of having a little girl, the sweet bliss of being able to experience having a daughter. Since day one it has been different than the boys. She has a serious shoe obsession, goes crazy for lotion, and already started acting like a total spaz for attention when her big brothers' friends are over....I am dedicating a solid hour of prayer a week to her brother's abilities to scare their friends in to leaving their little sister alone.
She's my baby girl...she's driving me nuts.
I can't go to the bathroom without her climbing on to the dining room table and destroying whatever is within her reach. Today I locked her in the bathroom with me and she managed to climb on a stool, reach onto my husband's cabinet, pull over a razor (with cover), and fall and bump her head on the bottom of the pedestal sink. She is beyond my capabilities of confinement.
I need a dog crate, or a super gate, or some sort of leash.
(Are those leashes still considered inhumane or is that cool now that we're all receiving information on every horrible thing that can happen to our kids in 4,000 different forms of media? Only at amusement parks and airports? I need some guidance here.)
She pulls everything out of every drawer. There are q-tips EVERYWHERE. I can not keep Alex's socks in his drawers. Do not get me started on our efforts to keep the Lego situation in check, she's simply too skilled at destruction for us to fight it.
She walks by a pile of freshly folded towels and simply grabs three hand towels to go stuff in her adorable princess training potty that sings every time something is put inside it...except when she has pooped and peed in it. What up Fisher Price?
She will not eat any fruit, other than applesauce if we are even counting that as fruit during these desperate times, but she'll go to town on the dried pasta and beans in my decorative island drawer fronts that have been sitting for over 3 years now. She is actually eating these dried, over aged decorations, but a strawberry? Well, that's disgusting.
She smiles and touches outlets, laughing when we say no. She freaks out unless her baby doll is laid next to her in her crib for all sleep. She climbs on picnic tables and pretends to be running to the edge. She eats almonds...and then after she has chewed five and hidden them in her cheek, she spits them in the toy basket she just dumped out and climbed in, and starts to cry because she doesn't like chewed almond bits on her.
For the love of God I am in over my head.
I thought matching bloomers to sundresses was confusing, and figuring out baby hair baffled me for well over a week, but this? This is insanity.
Is this the future? Is she ever going to stop pushing the limit, seeking danger, and taking off her diaper? Do we have a future Footloose type situation in the works? Am I going to banning dancing and singing in our home in an effort to control my wild child daughter? Today is it open mouth kisses to pretty much anyone, and in 15 years will it be open mouth kisses to pretty much anyone just to piss us off?
I am exhausted. I can't cook dinner, make a snack, or look at a loaf of bread without her clinging to my legs and wailing in desperation for me to pick her up and feed her, but not any vegetables or fruit. She climbs on the office chair and bangs on my keyboard if I so much as look at my computer while she is awake. She is hell bent on everything being about her around here...and she is totally succeeding.
She really is cute though, and knows how to work it. She can put on a pout, act shy, or stare down a stranger at the grocery store until they are under her spell. She is danger folks. Beware.
I bet I could get a lot for her on Craigslist....but wow, she is melt-your-heart adorable too.
I guess I'll retain my loathing of Craigslist and hold off on getting rid of her right now. Seriously though, a leash? A baby back pack? A sedative? Empty my house of anything climbable, edible (except fruits and veggies,) sharp, or remotely interesting?
I'll keep planning for Footloose, but in the meantime we need some prayers for my patience.
Linking up to Shell's Things I Can't Say, Pour Your Heart Out Meme. Check it out here.