Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Is This When It's OK to Sedate Your Daughter?

I am losing my mind.  I don't recall 19 months being this painful with the boys.  Is it always this bad?  Am I always this paralyzed by the constant need, the chaos, the challenge?

The number of times I thought about placing Stella on Craigslist today were countless.  If I weren't harboring such negative feelings for Craig, I might have done it. (You can read about those here if you are brave enough.)

Wait...they have a black market for kids on that website, right? 

I'm kidding Mom.  (And CPS.)

Stella is at the most adorable of ages.  She has funny, fluffy hair that looks heart stopping cute in pigtails.  She has a dimply butt, in a good way.  She loves a game of peek-a-boo.  She dances and sings. She runs funny.  It's cute, it's all cute...until it's just not.

I have been blown away by the joy of having a little girl, the sweet bliss of being able to experience having a daughter.  Since day one it has been different than the boys.  She has a serious shoe obsession, goes crazy for lotion, and already started acting like a total spaz for attention when her big brothers' friends are over....I am dedicating a solid hour of prayer a week to her brother's abilities to scare their friends in to leaving their little sister alone.

She's my baby girl...she's driving me nuts.

I can't go to the bathroom without her climbing on to the dining room table and destroying whatever is within her reach.  Today I locked her in the bathroom with me and she managed to climb on a stool, reach onto my husband's cabinet, pull over a razor (with cover), and fall and bump her head on the bottom of the pedestal sink.  She is beyond my capabilities of confinement. 

I need a dog crate, or a super gate, or some sort of leash. 

(Are those leashes still considered inhumane or is that cool now that we're all receiving information on every horrible thing that can happen to our kids in 4,000 different forms of media?  Only at amusement parks and airports?  I need some guidance here.)

She pulls everything out of every drawer.  There are q-tips EVERYWHERE.  I can not keep Alex's socks in his drawers.  Do not get me started on our efforts to keep the Lego situation in check, she's simply too skilled at destruction for us to fight it.

She walks by a pile of freshly folded towels and simply grabs three hand towels to go stuff in her adorable princess training potty that sings every time something is put inside it...except when she has pooped and peed in it.  What up Fisher Price?

She will not eat any fruit, other than applesauce if we are even counting that as fruit during these desperate times, but she'll go to town on the dried pasta and beans in my decorative island drawer fronts that have been sitting for over 3 years now.  She is actually eating these dried, over aged decorations, but a strawberry?  Well, that's disgusting.

She smiles and touches outlets, laughing when we say no.  She freaks out unless her baby doll is laid next to her in her crib for all sleep. She climbs on picnic tables and pretends to be running to the edge. She eats almonds...and then after she has chewed five and hidden them in her cheek, she spits them in the toy basket she just dumped out and climbed in, and starts to cry because she doesn't like chewed almond bits on her. 

For the love of God I am in over my head. 

I thought matching bloomers to sundresses was confusing, and figuring out baby hair baffled me for well over a week, but this?  This is insanity. 

Is this the future?  Is she ever going to stop pushing the limit, seeking danger, and taking off her diaper?  Do we have a future Footloose type situation in the works?  Am I going to banning dancing and singing in our home in an effort to control my wild child daughter?  Today is it open mouth kisses to pretty much anyone, and in 15 years will it be open mouth kisses to pretty much anyone just to piss us off?

I am exhausted.  I can't cook dinner, make a snack, or look at a loaf of bread without her clinging to my legs and wailing in desperation for me to pick her up and feed her, but not any vegetables or fruit. She climbs on the office chair and bangs on my keyboard if I so much as look at my computer while she is awake. She is hell bent on everything being about her around here...and she is totally succeeding. 

She really is cute though, and knows how to work it.  She can put on a pout, act shy, or stare down a stranger at the grocery store until they are under her spell.  She is danger folks.  Beware.

I bet I could get a lot for her on Craigslist....but wow, she is melt-your-heart adorable too. 

I guess I'll retain my loathing of Craigslist and hold off on getting rid of her right now.  Seriously though, a leash?  A baby back pack?  A sedative? Empty my house of anything climbable, edible (except fruits and veggies,) sharp, or remotely interesting? 

I'll keep planning for Footloose, but in the meantime we need some prayers for my patience.

Linking up to Shell's Things I Can't Say, Pour Your Heart Out Meme. Check it out here.


Dorothy Krajewski said...

Wow! You do have a handful! I don't remember what my boys were like at that age, but I do know I made good use of a playpen, a baby gate and the cot to keep them out of trouble. The house was totally baby-proofed, with locks and power point outlet covers everywhere, but I have heard stories of toddlers who can outwit any and all baby-proofing. If all that fails, there is always distraction. Colouring books, plastic containers, clothes pegs and cardboard boxes. I'm sure this will pass....

Jenn and Casey said...

Sticker chart?? :) I don't know, but good luck! I'm sure this time period will pass quickly. And someday, your mind will make it seem like the best times ever :)

Kelly said...

We have learner to get used to it, because other than the fruit thing that is both of our girls.

Jamie Bennett said...

In the time it took me to read this incredibly funny article, my 19 mo old little girl dumped my knitting basket, pulled the draining rack from the kitchen counter, got into the kitchen towels, and found the pop tart I had out for her brother. And I'm a fast reader! Her brother was never like this, either! I think that the cuter they are the more destructive they are!

Shell said...

She is so cute!

My oldest was like that. It's a miracle we had more after him. LOL

And um, oh YEAH was he on a leash.

Tara R. said...

At that age they know no fear. I'm sure life will calm down soon.

Maureen | Tatter Scoops said...

Oh my sounds like she keeps you on you toes alright. I have no experience with girls but my boy was pretty much into everything too. He even managed to locked me out in our 8th floor balcony apartment once. Oh the horror. I'm hoping it will eases out a bit for you :)

Mama Zen said...

Oh, I am laughing so hard! Mine was just like this at that age. I didn't think that I was going to survive.

And, no, I never found anything that would hold her!

mich said...

I feel ya! I am going crazy with my 17 month old who tries to push the limits and my buttons all day long. Good thing he is cute because the kid drives me crazy and my house is an utter disaster because of him. I had to put him in a toddler bed because he immediately climbs out of his crib. If i am not looking for 3 seconds somehow he has figured out how to scale the kitchen cabinets and likes to sit in the sink with the water running and throw everything on the floor.I hope this phase passes quickly because I am pretty sure 2 cannot get any worse!

Adrienne said...

She is melt your heart adorable! She sounds like my 2 year old niece. Handful! :)

Mel said...

If it is any help at all, I remember this age being pretty rough as The Nugget sorted out self control over clinging to mommy. It DOES get better. Just slowly. Incrementally. One day, you will look up and realize that you were able to complete some little task while she colored a picture ALL BY HERSELF. Hang in there!

Jessica said...

Oh gosh, its like your describing my oldest. I have two boys and desperately want a little girl, but this post is making me rethink that.

Stopping by from Shell's!

momnextdoor said...

I think its girls! Babe is just like this! She's a bit older but still just as destructive! (sorry)

Bud was never this bad. Babe is beyond-get-out cute but sometimes I just want to shake her! (Just kidding CPS.)

If she would go to sleep like a normal person I think I would be able to deal with her better. Hear that Babe?? I'LL BE NICER IF YOU LET ME SLEEP!

Tara said...

Did they not tell you that girls start the terrible twos at 18 months and don't leave them until they become sass-mouthed 8 year olds?

Try pre-school instead of sedation. See if the local church school will take her for a couple hours two days a week and give yourself a rest.

Sara S said...

She is too cute! I feel ya, my 10 month old is a handful lately!

Kimberly said...

Gabe just turned 22 months, and he's been just as crazy lately! Maybe it's something in the air. Hang in there, Mama. I feel your pain!

Two Normal Moms said...

I have nothing... she's just damn cute! :)

Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

She sounds like an absolute hoot! I remember Elijah being that way. I was so exhausted from trying to keep up I thought I would never rest again.
The pics of her cute little face are awesome though!

January Dawn said...

Yep. Been there. My eldest was insanely busy. I could get NOTHING done. NOTHING! And forget having him out of my sight for a second. He's almost 4 and has calmed down incredibly. So. There IS hope.

Missy said...

It's a good think she's cute, huh? My sister is having the same problem with her daughter who is 9 months old.

Alyssa said...

My son is 16 months...is this what I have to look forward to?? I can't remember my daughter at that age. Truly. Maybe I've blocked it out. Maybe I had it removed from my memory Eternal Sunshine style.

But she's almost 6 now and still alive so I guess we lived through it. I'll pray for you. For realz. Don't do anything drastic over there.

The Semi-Domesticated Mama said...

I have a 16 month old daughter (and 4 others to go with her) and I feel your pain. She is....well, she's a nightmare. I'd love to say handful, or curious, or exhuberant but truthfully- she's just a nightmare. Ha! Good thing she's cute.

This is my first visit to your blog and I'm hooked. I came over from Things I Can't Say.

The Semi-Domesticated Mama said...

I have a 16 month old daughter (and 4 others to go with her) and I feel your pain. She is....well, she's a nightmare. I'd love to say handful, or curious, or exhuberant but truthfully- she's just a nightmare. Ha! Good thing she's cute.

This is my first visit to your blog and I'm hooked. I came over from Things I Can't Say.