I was actually in the mood to play with Cole and Stella, Aiden was playing at a friend's house after school, but neither of them were in interested in doing anything with me. I blame Stella's lack of interest in my awesomeness on her recent tendency to fall on her head. I blame Cole's lack of interest in hanging out with me on his, well, Cole-ness. That kid is sort of weird....in a good way.
I was continuously tempted to abandon my efforts to bond with my two youngest children in order to get a few things done, but little things kept calling me back to them. Those things were laziness, a profound disinterest in folding laundry, and Stella and Cole's ability to start fighting over anything.
I finally laid on the floor of my sun room and just waited to see where the next unsettling sound would come from, so I would know where I was needed. You might be thinking I was lying on the floor and looking at a magazine or flipping through the Twitter feed, or checking my email, but you would be wrong. I honestly was lying on my back and staring at the ceiling, alternating between thinking about how much I miss my dog and wondering how I can remove chewed gum from my carpet.
I sort of felt like an apathetic mother. My parenting was excessively permissive and I was definitely absent. Given Stella's recent unpredictable behavior, this was probably not a solid decision, but we can't all be amazing mothers every single moment, right? Wait...right?
First, I heard screams from Cole's room. I went back to find Cole trying to put Stella on to the ladder of his bunk bed. This is probably not good. I removed Stella, told Cole to not pick her up, tried to get them to play with me, and then returned to my lying down spot.
Second, I heard a weird rustling sound coming from the kitchen. Periodically Stella would squeal. Let's be clear, squealing without supervision is bad.
Next, I heard NOTHING. This is the most feared of sounds as a Mom with two children under four roaming around. I peeled myself off the floor, because I'm a curious woman, and went to hunt out some kids. I found Stella coloring, her feet. This didn't really phase me because she usually colors things like the wall when I am not around and I'm totally willing to sacrifice her skin in order to not further the destruction of my home. The drawings on her feet will come off after a bath, or four.
I couldn't find Cole though...and then I heard that familiar sound of Angry Birds coming from his closet. Yep, my iPad had been confiscated and there was unapproved gaming going on, hidden gaming. I totally ignored it.
I looked at the clock and it was almost 5:00 5:00 means time to make dinner, baths can be had, a mental light at the end of the day tunnel, and wine can be poured without feeling weird or unstable.
Or, more unstable. Wait, why do I wait until 5:00?
Cole was occupied with books (because I'm really in to education and do a really good job with my children, clearly,) but I hadn't seen Stella since she tried to shove me off the toilet while I peed earlier. She had said "yes," when I asked her if she had to go potty earlier and then she ran off.
I rounded the corner to the kids' bedrooms and heard a constant flushing sound coming from their bathroom. Stella, had unrolled an entire roll of toilet paper on the floor, and then did this with another one....
Oh sweet Lord, I think I need to get up off the floor and force the kids to do something with me, or at least fold the laundry. Tomorrow. I'll definitely not lie on the floor tomorrow.
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