Thursday, October 27, 2011

Five Things Before My Hair Turns Orange

I have exactly twenty minutes to ramble to you before I have to wash out the hair color I professionally applied to my hair. I decided to take the twenty minutes as a challenge to see what I come up with in that short amount of time. 

This is a good time to lower your expectations about great entertainment value or being moved by the beauty of my words.  You know, the normal emotions you feel when you stop by.

What better way to be brief and concise than a list? 

Let's make it a list of the first five things that come in to my mind...because what could possibly be more fun than that?

(Possibly another great list would be to actually list five things more fun than listing the spontaneous thoughts I have at 10 pm?)

Aiden's school has been having a "Say No To Drugs" Week.  Each day is some sort of theme like, too cool to do drugs, so wear your sunglasses to school. Or, keep a lid on drugs (I could be getting this totally wrong,) so wear a hat.

Aiden has yet to participate in any of these shenanigans. It isn't that he opposes the idea of the week, to the best of my knowledge he has done nothing to advocate the use of drugs, but he just doesn't understand why anyone would want to wear their pajamas to school or keep track of sunglasses all day.

I love him.

You know what else he doesn't understand? Drugs. Every day he comes home with some sort of ribbon, button, or flyer about how important it is to say no to drugs, but when I ask him what drugs are he says he has no clue.

I tried to be mature and talk to him about it but it just got confusing when deciphering between pills for healing and pills for abuse, or when I tried to mention people snort things. I tend to overshoot information distribution on these sorts of things. Our discussions on reproduction are priceless.

In fairness to me though, and to the school which is so desperately trying to communicate about drugs, Aiden is really not focusing on the messages being delievered. Aiden thought that an entire presentation at school last week was about people that develop diaherrrea and how to prevent it. I was baffled, but with further questioning discovered the topic was actually diabetes.

All Aiden recalled was you were supposed to exercise and not eat too many bad food so you don't get diaherrea. Fantastic.

If you aren't Facebook friends with me you might have missed that I have $6 to last me until the 31st.  It doesn't include gas, but it does include grocieres and all other expenses for myself and the kids.  I've had $6 since Tuesday and holding strong. 

I'm thinking of going to Starbucks in the morning though and just blowing the whole thing on a single drink. 

I'm wild.

Alex should brace himself for much whining over the the weekend.  There is a good chance we could be fighting over the quarters in our change box so one of us could go to Sonic and the other could get a car wash. 

If you've seen my van then you know I don't bother myself with washing it, but I've been craving flavored fountain drinks lately.

Stella has suddenly shown an interest in the potty...some of you might know this as a toilet.  I used to say toilet, but now I say potty when talking to pretty much anyone about the bathroom.  It's one of the tragic side affects of having kids. 

She's only 17 months so I have no delusions that she will soon be shedding her diapers and putting an extra $35 back in my bank account each month, but it's pretty hysterical, and that's worth something.  Not something you can buy a Starbucks drinks with, but something.

She begs to be put on it and then just looks at me like I'm going to make something happen.  She's silent the entire time, focusing on what it is she is supposed to be doing, not that she knows what that is. 

The best part is that she will basically imitate any face I make while she is sitting there.  I'm not sure if she thinks that I'm giving her the secret to making something go in to the potty when I scrunch my face up or stick out my tongue, but she's giving it a fantastic effort. 

I spent the day cleaning my house, making chicken broth, baking two loaves of zucchini bread, washing the dog, and throwing together some ice cream sandwhiches to share with the neighbors.

What the hell is wrong with me?

I don't know what was going on, but for some reason I decided I was going to be productive in the house today and I knocked it out. I feel horrible now, like I've been part of some sort of slave labor all day, but my floors no longer have a film of dog drool, spilled milk, and graham cracker crumbs. It somehow feels victorious and depressing at the same time.

My neighbors have yet again changed my life.  Two of my friends and I started a dinner co-op and I am over the moon with how this has made things so much more simple for me.

Sunday I roasted three chickens and vegetables, Tuesday Amy delievered yummy stuffed peppers, and tonight Sue dropped off fantastic green chicken with rice and beans.  I am free from the nighly dinner drama! 

Love it.  Do it in your neighborhood! 

Time to wash the hair color out and pretend I don't have any gray hair. 

Also, after a quick re-read of this post, perhaps it's time for me to stop wasting money on beverages.

Is this really the only thing I am dying to spend my money on? 


Lynda Halliger-Otvos said...

Soooo... how did the hair turn out ?~? Never having put anything on this wild weed patch that passes for hair I am endlessly curious about what happens and then of course Why women do it.

I can dig cleaning the floors, doing laundry, even cleaning and filing fingernails, but somehow the hair thing just escapes me.

Yes, I get teased, mostly by my loved ones !~!~

Mel said...

Okay, I will reply in list form as well:
1. You totally sound like super mom with the baking and the cleaning and whatnot. Go you!
2. I suggest meating out the money over the course of several days on less expensive drinks - by my house, any size fountain drink is only a dollar at McDonalds. Think of all of the drinking you can do!
3. Supper club - yes!! Is there any chance you live in my neighborhood? I am so in!!!
4. It does seem like eating healthy and exercise should pretty much take care of BOTH diahrhea AND diabetes, so it's a win win for your son.
5. Love the teeny tiny kids on the potty:) Yes, parenthood makes it a potty to everyone. All the time. Sigh.

Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

I am down to $6 all the time. Except, it is because I blow all my money on stupid things like Silly Putty, BuckyBalls, and Dt.Dr. Pepper. I have a back up plan though: I take the "FAMILY" account check card. Pisses the hubs off EVERY time! Pics of the hair please?

Lorilynne said...

Ha! I love the way kids remember things that happened at school. Yesterday Piper went and her teacher was dressed in a fat suit and she told us that the kids were going to learn about healthy eating and family resemblance. When I asked Piper after school why her teacher was dressed like that and what she learned she told me "cuz Ms. Tomie is silly and she told us something about fruit". I can tell it really sunk in with her.
I love the idea of a dinner co-op. Except I'm surrounded by strange people, none of which seem to like me. Maybe when I move to North Dakota, I'll finally make some neighborhood friends.

momnextdoor said...

I would like more information on this dinner co-op please! Dinner is...Evil!

I love that you make faces at her while she is on the potty! (And I didn't realize there were any other words. Thanks for the heads up.)

KSK said...

LOL!! I love that your daughter imitates your faces while on the potty!! hahha!

Two Normal Moms said...

I love the idea of a dinner coop. I just wish I lived by people who's food I would eat. Because the smells that come out of some of houses around here when they are cooking... yuck.