Actually I am over and done and finished with two things.
Let's take it one thing at a time. That's how you're supposed to approach things, correct?
1. Cole Peeing His FREAKIN' PANTS
As much as I love all the traffic I get from people googling the phrase "pee in pants," I'm sick of writing about this topic in my life. I want it out of my life.
For the past year Cole has been periodically just peeing his pants. It's rather annoying.
I can not believe this is still happening.
Everyone keeps telling me to relax, it won't be happening when he's in high school, he'll get over it. I find little comfort in the promise that my future year old probably won't be urinating during his calculus final. I prefer to think there is a solution closer to now.
He usually pees a little in his underwear and then eventually makes it to the bathroom before things get all over. He probably changes his shorts three or four times a day. If you look at my laundry it might appear that I have four year old triplets.
I don't have triplets. I do not want to do laundry for triplets. This pisses me off.
At the Kid Zone at the gym today Cole refused to come down from the playscape. He simply peered at me from the end of the highest tunnel and said, "I can't go"...which actually turned out to be an even bigger lie than I thought.
Yes, he peed in the playscape. Apparently it was while he was playing Star Wars with "Josh" and he didn't want to leave the spaceship. This is the usual reason for not making it to the bathroom. Not wanting to stop playing, not "Josh." I don't even know who that kid is, but I bet wasn't peeing in the tunnel.
This was embarrassing. It made me want to exchange Cole for Josh.
So after the gym I challenged Cole to not pee his pants for seven days. If he succeeds I promised to buy him any Star Wars toy he wants. I even agree to the light saber he keeps requesting and I keep turning him down, even for his birthday, because he already has THREE and I hate them with every fiber of my being.
But, not as much as I hate him peeing in his pants.
He accepted the challenge and it starts tomorrow. It's ON!
2. Aiden Not Listening, Whining, Complaining, and Being An All Around Self Absorbed Punk
I realize he's only a month shy of six, and I should probably lower my expectations a bit, but I'm over it.
The child complains and is brought to tears at the slightest perceived injustice.
FYI, he perceives anything outside of his wishes and desires to be a huge injustice.
Every time I tell him it's time to stop playing the Wii, his brother has the color of marker he wants, he can't have a second squeezable applesauce, whatever, I have to dig deep, very, very deep for the mature, educated mother that I know I need to be in this situation.
Because the surface me really wants to shout, "stop crying like a little bitch over pureed fruit purchased for your two-teeth-having baby sister, put on your big boy pants, dry your tears on your blankie and get your shit together."
I realize this would be wrong though. I have a feeling it might not be effective and it might just cost me thousands of dollars in therapy down the road. So I, at least to date, take the mature route, which is infinitely less gratifying in the moment.
Tonight though, I decided to offer him a challenge also. One week of obeying without question and I'll buy him any Star Wars toy he wants.
He was elated.
He accepted the challenge and his starts in the morning also....which is a good thing because after I hung his brand new curtains in his room, he drew a large person in ink on one panel. I felt a little annoyed.
I do realize this doesn't violate the "obey first" rule of the challenge, but when I tried to talk to him about it he instantly became defiant and rude.
Then, when I asked him to read books with his sister while I put Cole to bed, he moaned and teared up at how mean I was. Violation baby.