"Sometimes I wish I just didn't give a shit, it would make this whole parenting thing much easier."
My friend Scott asked me what I would do if I didn't give a shit?
It got me thinking, what would I do differently? So I put together a little list.
You are welcome.
- What prompted the tweet: I would stand idly by when my kids take over the hook and ring game outside the local burger joint and don't let any other kids have a turn. I'd drink my beer and allow them to just be rude to everyone else. I might even belch loudly while doing it, or consume three more beers after my first.
- I would always give in, right away.
- I'd serve chicken nuggets, peanut butter and jelly, pizza and hamburgers every night and never think twice about exposing them to healthy food or a balanced diet. It would save me hours.
- I would completely ignore nap times and all that they restrict.
- I would never, ever put down my iphone.
- I would never, ever, ever schedule another play date again, or visit Chuck E Cheese.
- I'd drink at lunch more often.
- I would never spend $10 on another Brain Quest book or Star Wars figure for my children.
- I would be 100% comfortable with the boys peeing in the front yard or friend's Koi ponds.
- I would watch The Bachelorette while my children eat a dinner of Popsicles and bread and butter and ask me important life questions that I promptly ignore because I need to focus on the intricate details of JP and Ashley.
But for the record, I very much do give a shit, which makes the role of raising my kids all that much more difficult...and all that much more rewarding.