Thursday, July 7, 2011

If It Weren't For Neighborhood Porn Surfers I Would Have Told You Last Night

It's official. We are residents of Grandma and Tractor's house for the next 21 or so days. 

I would have posted last night about day two of the trip, but my Mom apparently turns her modem off at night so that other people can't use her Internet access for porn, so I was fresh out of luck at midnight after everyone else had gone to bed. 

At least we know no one was looking at porn.

I even was attempting to morph day two's recap into a recipe-ish so I could maintain my streak of Wednesday being recipe-ish days since March.  It would have been magnificent. 

Or it would have sucked so I'm not putting forth all that effort for a recipe-ish on a Thursday. 

That would be nuts.

If you are new around here and you don't know what the hell I'm talking about, I do a recipe-ish every week where I give a semi-convoluted recipe in the form of an email (usually) that I would write to someone else to teach them how to make it.  Yes, it is confusing, thank you for noticing.

If you were devastated to see that there was no recipe-ish to be had, or if you haven't read them and think I'm potentially high while writing this, here are some of my favorite re-runs. 

Quiche
Greek Salad
Peanut Butter and Jelly
Sweet Tea
Chicken Sausage

If you didn't read Tuesday's post about day one of the trip you should read it here or else there is no way you would be able to keep up with all the intricate plot twists and complicated story lines which I am about to reveal. 

Or it might not matter at all, carry on.

So, all my dreams of a good night sleep in the hotel the night before were shattered when Cole decided he should wake up frequently and incoherently cry/moan and wake up Aiden which would then wake up Stella.  It was really fun. 

It was actually a fantastic reminder that Alex and I can never stop being ambitious enough to at least afford a home where we do not all have to sleep in one room.  Life would not be worth living so that is the new minimum goal.  It's important to have goals.

Day two of our trip was long. It was really, painfully long, but I guess I'll try to be more of a half-glass-full girl today and say that it wasn't that bad because it wasn't....except when it was.


Cole chose to take charge of Indiana right before we left the hotel yesterday morning and in his sleep deprived state, allowed Indiana to drag him into a drainage ditch in the parking lot.   He ended up covered in mud and grass clippings from his toes to his waist.  Indiana was also sufficiently covered. 

That was an awesome way to start the day.


Overall the kids really did do wonderfully. Stella had some rough moments, but when fed enough raisins and given enough rocks to place in alternating cups, she was reasonably peaceful.  I also might have sung Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star 568 times which I am pretty positive makes me Mother of the Year.

(Will some one please take the proper steps for nominating me through the appropriate channels?)

Here's a view of all the kids during our travels.






After being on the road with my parents, dog, and three children for 33 hours, it just seemed appropriate that I would be able to get a Starbucks for a little personal indulgence amongst the pain of being in that minivan for so long. Did you know that Starbucks has more or less completely abandoned the coffee market along the route between say Dallas and Indianapolis?

It’s sad....and mean.

Don't I look like someone that could use a delicious beverage?


If you want a McDonald’s you will definitely be in luck. Subway? Just look to your right when you walk in to the convenience store. Wendy’s or other seemingly higher class fast food, you might have to wait a little, but never more than an hour.  Your french fries and crappy hamburger will be accessible.

Starbucks or anything that might possibly have a piece of fresh fruit or skim milk or real juice? It's just not going to happen. You might as well buy a Monster at the convenience store and pretend it's an espresso.

I did manage to discover that my iPhone map will point out all the Starbucks near our current location.

(Can we talk about my new found love for satellites?  Dave Matthews Band really was on to something when they sang that song about them 15 or so years ago.)
The satellite did find me one Starbucks in Marion, IL off I-55 in a Kroger store. It was a lone dot on a large map of Arkansas, Missouri and Southern Illinois.  I was relieved to see that dot, until I actually visited the dot.  It is a sad, sad place.

If you were thinking of voluntarily popping by, I'd advise against it.  The Starbucks might not even be worth it, especially if your mother is in the car shaking her head in exasperation the whole time you are taking the extra 10 minutes to pop in to get a chai tea latte.  This might be countered by the joy you feel from being the most beautiful person in the world when you walk in the grocery store though.  I don't care who you are, you would be the most beautiful person in the world in there. 

Let's just say it was complicated.  Very, complicated.

We stopped at rest stops and made our own peanut butter and jelly sandwiches while my father tried to sell Stella to a variety to truck drivers.  Every single one of them was so sweet to her and she loved them.  This might have warmed my heart if I didn't have 20 years of Dateline child predator stories in my head. TV really does ruin everything.

Wait.  Did I say that? 

If you read yesterday, you are probably wondering about my threats to abandon the family along the way. Well, I chose not to be ditched on the way home, primarily because we didn’t stop at Cracker Barrel even once yesterday, and what's the point of leaving your whole family to live on the interstate if you aren't going to be near a Cracker Barrel? I have to have standards.



We finally pulled in to my parents' around 9 pm and everyone was elated.  The kids didn't go to sleep until after 11, but they all did go to sleep and actually slept all night long.  Fantastic!

Today was a shining example of why I come for three weeks every day. First, it was only 85 and that's a whole 20 degrees cooler than it usually is at home right now.  It's profound to see how much happier we all are when we don't feel like we've been set on fire when we walk outdoors.

The boys ran around my parents neighborhood, relishing in the freedom their neighborhood here offers.  Stella actually tried to get into the grass because here it is soft and green and nothing at all like the straw we have in our yard at home. 

I have found that comfort that I rediscover each time I come home and sleep in my childhood room.  It's relaxing and soothing. 

We did a whole lot of nothing today and that is exactly how I want it to stay.  Unless of course I am abandoning my children to go shop or hang out with my friends. I also have a pedicure on my radar.  I will make it happen.

Here was the highlight of the day though. 

This was not her most impressive amount of steps today, but of course it was the only time I was able to capture it with my phone.  She probably took 8 through my parent's kitchen this afternoon.  These are the moments people. It was so fun to watch. 

Just FYI, her off the shoulder apparel is just standard dress for Indiana.  All the girls dress a little risque and hum John Cougar Melloncamp here. It's true.

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I haven't asked in a while, but if you have a chance and can click on the Top Mommy Blogs link on the right side of my blog I would love you for all eternity.  Or I might just say thank you some time in one of my posts about poop. 

Also, if you want to retweet or repost on your FB I would probably be your best friend.  Just probably though, I'm on the fence about committing to this.  Just do it and see what happens.  Fair?

Thanks for the support everyone!  It means a lot.

 

7 comments:

Dwija {House Unseen} said...

Yay! You're home. You're alive. You did it!!! I've submitted your MOTY nomination, don't you worry :)

Lynda Halliger-Otvos said...

Woot woot- thirty three hours in a car alone would make me nuts, never mind all those parents. AND three kids.

And The Dog !~! MOTY will be just the beginning....

Babymama said...

New follower from the hop - you had me at your post title. :)

33 hours in a car with the littles...you are oh so much braver than I.

xo
babymama
avagracescloset

Prudently Painted Vintage said...

Get it together! How am I suppose to go on with my week without my recipe-ish. Life just doesn't feel the same. Seriously major dissappointment over here ;)

You are definitely mother of the year in my book! What is it with kids and wanting the same song sung over and over.....Or wait is that the only one you know? Just teasing, I know you know more. Right?

Starbucks really needs to rethink their product placement or whatever you want to call it. There is like three starbucks within a ten mile radius in my town, but NONE on any major highway. Really Starbucks? What is the logic of this?

Stella taking her steps is the cutest! awwww I need another baby!

Frugal in WV said...

I haven't been brave enough to go on any car trip longer than 3 hours with my two boys :) New follower from the finding new friends hop, have a great day! you can find me at
http://wvfrugal-wvsaver.blogspot.com/

Shana said...

LOL! Hi! Just stopping by. Following you from Finding New Friends Weekend Blog Hop. Would love a visit and a follow back on my blog: http://blog.writerslairbooks.com. Thanks! Nice to meet you!

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