Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Did You Know I Was Almost Ann Taylor?

Did any one think I was perhaps trapped underneath a large object?  Kidnapped?  Lost in the joy of Indiana life?  Sitting in the corner with a glass of wine and crying about the dramatic change in weather here? 

(It's over 90 and basically 95% humidity.  It's swell. It's cry worthy.)

Well, the truth is that I've been overwhelmed by the family activities around here.  Survival has taken all of my available resources and there has been nothing left for the blog.  Sorry folks.

I'm back though, at least for tonight to give you a quick run down on things.  I don't want to leave everyone hanging for too long. I certainly don't want everyone getting hooked on all the other more amazing blogs out there and ditching out on me

Please don't leave me.  I need you.  I'm lost without your comments of camaraderie and support.

Moving on....Alex has come and gone since I last posted and it was wonderful to have him here.  Believe it or not he did not suggest we move here, nor did he hand his resume to even one person.  He didn't even try to get a job here. Not once.

He left earlier today and ever since I have been regrouping my plan to convince him Indiana desperately needs us. It's a pretty rough, extremely lame plan currently.  I'm not optimistic.  Texas seems to be forever in our future.

While he was here we went to the Children's Museum, the zoo, had a birthday party for my niece, had our family pictures taken by the amazing and much loved Sara Morris (and felt extreme disappointment in our children's ability to smile and sit, which we were sure they could handle and were proven incorrect over and over again,) welcomed the arrival of my brother, his wife and two kids, and spent a lot of time trying to figure out how to get away from our own children. 

It turns out that after a week or so in Indiana, they are equally annoying here as they are in Texas. 

This was a really devastating discovery.  I'm still trying to recover.
Let there be no doubt.  Joy still abounds here in Indiana, but it is definitely peppered with a lot more of real life.  Remember how annoying real life can be? 

Cole's been sleeping on the floor of our room since my brother arrived and has started a fun habit of whining around 3 or 4 in the morning.  He sounds like a sick cat or a really, really annoying baby.  I don't know what a sick cat sounds like but I have reasonably confident that I never, ever want to be around one.

Dealing with Cole like this every night has been challenging to say the least.  Aiden is also sleeping on our floor and everything feels very desperate when he starts this.  Making him stop is next to impossible and the ridiculous forms of discipline we are using at 4 am are sad to say the least.

So far we have threatened to zip him upside down into his sleeping back, take away juice from him forever, force him to sleep in the basement and steal his new Star Wars figures.  It's solid Midwest parenting.

Life is definitely tainted when your children are regularly jacking with your sleep.  Stella also has been extremely defiant and very challenging to keep up with this last week.  I'm not sure exactly what happened but I'm not enjoying it at all.

Yes, she's playing with a trap my Dad uses to catch chipmunks.  It's how she rolls here.  Do not try to take it, or anything else she wants, away from her.  She will attack you, and any chipmunks you have caught.

The good news is that I found prom dress from my junior year in high school.  I went through great lengths to draw this dress, design the perfect straps, find the perfect fabric,  and then work with a very old lady to actually sew it.  I loved it. 

So when I saw it sitting in my closet, the only dress my Mom has saved from my time dressing up for formal events, I had to see if it still was as magical as I remembered it.  Well....

Imagine my wonderful high school boyfriend, Mike, dancing with me instead of me looking sort of weird.  See how excited my baby nephew is in the background.  He was elated about being able to see the dress for the first time.

Here is a more clear photo of the dress, but even worse photography done by my brother. 

He probably was too distracted by how he would capture the essence of the real show stopping feature of this dress.  The bow.

I think you'll agree that the size of this bow is 100% appropriate. 

Why I have never been asked to design a dress for anyone is beyond my comprehension.  That bow is simply genius.  After this dress was finished I was fairly confident I would soon be designing an entire line...sadly it never happened. 

Can you believe that this is the sum total of my experience as a designer? Shocking, I know.

What was most sad is how my boobs were too small for the chest of this dress and my hips were definitely pulling.  I'd like to thank my three children for these phenomenal changes to my body. I can't believe my boobs are actually smaller than when I was 17.  It just feels mean.

I'm going to do my best to be back with a recipe-ish tomorrow folks, but I have kids to discipline, weather to bitch about, and most likely there is a whole hidden world of things from my past that would amuse me almost as much as that dress did, so I'm not sure I'll have time. 

I hope you all are doing well!


Anne Dawson Jutt said...

Made my day :) Hope to connect with you guys this weekend!!!

Lynda Halliger-Otvos said...

So glad to read your words of humor and wisdom (that’d be the part about not taking stuff from Stella). California’s great this time of year, leastways up here where I live. The fog rolls in and the sun, altho bright, fails to be hot enough to warrant dragging the shorts out of the drawer. Being able to open the window over the head of the bed nearly every night of the year and be rewarded with cool air blowing over you rocks my world after thirty years of A/C all summer long.

Your sense of humor has not been dulled by the flatness of the Indianan plain--right on.

Kimberly said...

I think that dress is gorgeous! That bow is phenomenal. If I ever need to have a dress custom-designed for me, I'll totally seek you out. That being said, I hate wearing dresses/dress shopping so much that rather than pick out my own wedding dress, I wore my grandma's 70-year-old wedding gown. The sentimental value was actually secondary to the fact that I would rather be water-boarded than forced to shop.

Sorry your kids are being obnoxious. We're in Kentucky, so I feel your pain with the heat- I'm not okay with the 110 degree heat index projected for the rest of this week.

Good luck scheming new ways to move to Indiana! I'm rooting for you!

mama_pez said...

Hot mama! The dress looks great and you look amazing!!! There is zero chance I would fit into anything from high school...so definitely count that as a win!

Just ME said...

Like another poster I can't fit anything into clothes from high school Wow.