Sunday, May 22, 2011

If You Go To Costco and Church Your Daughter Will Learn to Drive a Tractor At Age One...It's True

It was a good weekend.  We had no plans.  Our only goals were Costco and church.

(We were assuming we would still be around after the rapture and at that point church would be pretty important, and probably very interesting.)

Saturday we went to Costco and managed to spend $300 on mass quantities of our favorite* foods.  I've really missed Costco.  We hadn't been since the end of February and I felt all a twitter just being there.

Can you even use the phrase "all a twitter" anymore?  Does it automatically denote some passion of using social media?  Was this ever a phrase or am I just making stuff up?

Long Side Note: Speaking of Twitter though, I am really trying to tweet, but I sort of suck at it.  It feels so ridiculous.  I used to love the Facebook status update, but I allegedly know all those people.  Twitter just feels funny, and not in a good way. 

Here are my primary questions about how it works because I always feel confused:
  • What does the # mean?
  • What does it mean when someone types RT?
  • If I put some one's Twitter name in my post, will they see it?
  • What are the lists and why should I care?
  • Can I really answer questions that people like Oprah and Pink are asking?  Will they see my responses and then immediately want to be friends with me? 
I'm not even sure I want answers to these questions, but I guess it would be nice to know if I'm going to pretend to be someone that tweets. 

Anyway, Costco was amazing, more amazing than usual.  I highly recommend anyone that frequents the store to take a three months break and then go's pretty phenomenal.  I do not however, recommend that you take my three children along right before lunch time.  (Any other time would be really fun for you to take my children, anywhere, just let me know and I'll have them ready.)

Unfortunately, at Costco, they will suck the majority of your joy away and will cry over every sample either being disgusting or so delicious that they need five, immediately.  They will confuse you with their tantrums, causing you to buy large quantities of food you don't normally eat. 

Why did we get three pounds of apple chicken sausage again? 
We also were successful in attending church this morning.  I was particularly excited about showing my gratitude for a full night of sleep!  All three kids slept without a peep from 6:30 pm until 6:45 am.  Hallelujah!

(Please note that I just broke my rule of NEVER talking about Kid Sleep.  I will accept the consequences of this mention, I felt it was important that you all know that it happened since my last post was basically how I was on the edge due to Cole's exhaustion.)

I may or may not have spent a good portion of the sermon day dreaming about where the lady behind me got her beautiful yellow purse, approximately how much it might have cost, and how I was going to smuggle $200 out of the grocery budget within the next few weeks to buy one exactly like it.

The good news is that the sermon was on how we are supposed to become more Christ-like through our lives and I am pretty sure JC would have LOVED this bag too so maybe I was just exploring a different side of Jesus?

Really, the bag is probably irrelevant because even if it were $20, I'm pretty sure it isn't sold at HEB, Costco or Target and those are the only retailers I foresee myself shopping at over the next few months since all shopping trips will include Aiden, Cole and Stella.  Surprisingly, Costco is not the only store at which they can destroy your love of consumerism.

So, I didn't ask the woman with the bag and I'll probably thankfully never know.  It is possible though that I just spent 45 minutes searching to see if could locate a look alike.  No luck on the yellow bag, but I was able to find about twenty other designer bags in the $300 price range that I think would look really good holding diapers and fruit snacks and the occasional five dollar bill. 

It was actually a pretty sad 45 minutes. I felt a little desperate and a lot like I was wasting 45 minutes that I could be spending eating the huge box of chocolate covered caramel nut clusters I bought at Costco.  So, I did what JC would do and shut the site down, grabbed the box of candy and am now writing to you. 

Unrelated transition....

My Mother sent me this picture she took with her phone last year at this time and thought you all would like to see what I was up to one year ago.

Just hanging out with fake cows, peeing my pants, having trouble walking and waiting for this to fall out...
Thank goodness she didn't come out on this tractor. She definitely looks cute on it now though. 

Can't believe it's almost been a year. All those long days waiting by the cows for her to be born were rough, but I'm pretty sure she was worth it. 

Discovering Stella could ride the tractor was a huge hit this weekend.
Also, discovering how to upload videos to my blog today has been Earth shattering, I'm sure you agree. 

Please plan on viewing all sorts of crap my kids do in the coming weeks. 

You are welcome.

P.S. Watching the Billboard Awards makes me feel old. 

P.P.S. Don't you think I tied this post together nicely?  Costco, Twitter, Church, Pregnancy, Stella, Tractors.  Amen.

P.P.P.S Have a good week people!

*by favorite I mean food that we might eat and is available to purchase at Costco, or was packaged so nicely we couldn't not purchase it because we are a marketers dream.


L.A.C.E. said...

lol great post! I refuse to get a costco card. Blasphemous I know. But I'd put us in the poor house if I had untethered run of that place.

mama_pez said...

Your post makes me happy! So much awesome fun. :)
Now for some twitter info *ahem* (assume techie voice here - assume I know what I'm talking know, for fun and all):

What does the # mean?
I believe the # (hashtag) was originally for twitter-wide conversations. If you see something "trending" it means a ridiculous number of people are all using the same hashtag - you can find & join (if you so choose) the discussion by using twitter to search the hashtag.
Many people also use the hashtag as a kind of stage whisper or an aside. #MostlyWhatIDo
What does it mean when someone types RT?
RT is short for ReTweet. It means sharing someone else's tweet, with or with out your own personal touch. Tweeps usually differentiate their addition by placing it before the RT or using // or -- or some other marker before they offer their wisdom/opionon/whatever. (did you see what I did there with the twitter slang? Don't I *sound* like I know what I'm talking about?) A 'quick RT' is just a straight sharing of someone's tweet (you don't do anything to it).
If I put some one's Twitter name in my post, will they see it?
If by twitter name you mean the @ as well, then yes, it is called a "mention" and they can set it up so they will receive texts, emails, or app notifications whenever they receive a "mention." Some celebrities get "mentioned" constantly, so they may never see it, but most tweeps will. (oooh! Twice in one response. You must think I'm being paid to do this now.)
What are the lists and why should I care?
Lists are just ways to make twitter more organized for you. I use tdash on my computer because it organizes my tweets by person, and I was going through reading each person on their own (way less confusing to me than my straight timeline). I found I was always reading my favorite mamas first, so I created a list with my mama (and daddy) friends. It appears to be a sub-timeline of sorts. Everyone on the list is mixed in chronologically but it doesn't seem to show quick RTs.
Can I really answer questions that people like Oprah and Pink are asking? Will they see my responses and then immediately want to be friends with me?
Yes and Yes, because you are so awesome.
Another point to make is a conversation. When you 'reply' to a tweet, the reply starts with the other users twitter name. This conversation can be viewed by tweeps that follow you both, or people who go to both twitter profiles to try to piece it together (but that is a ridiculous amount of work). I like twitter apps like tdash, because they put conversations in-line for you. Otherwise, I get a reply and think, what did I say again? Why is this person saying these things to me. I am easily confused.
I hope this helps (if you are still reading and haven't feel asleep to my techie drone). I also follow @TweetSmarter which has some helpful tips.

Lynda Halliger-Otvos said...

@mama_pez, my head just exploded into my raisin bran; looks like strawberry milk....

Leslie, as always, love your brand of humor and will follow your tweets if I can figure out how !~!

mama_pez said...

I was reading the next comment and noticed you might have "feel asleep". D'oh! That was supposed to be "fallen asleep." Sorry about the brain thing, Lynda, it appears mine did the same. lol

Emmy said...

Okay love love loving this post. You had me intrigued right from the title.
I don't tweet as really, I don't need one more thing to get hopelessly sucked into. But I do no that RT is retweet-but wait I see that mama_pez answered all of that for you.

Costco is just dangerous for me, giant tubs of licorice always end up in my cart.