Michael sounds pretty, even makes you want to sway while someone has their hands around your waist, maybe even make out....but it's no Joy and Pain.
(This makes sense, I promise...assuming you know who these people are, you had something called a DJ back when you were in junior high and you grew up in Carmel, IN or somewhere else where the DJ birthday party was all the rage of social status for your seventh and eighth grade years of junior high. If not, I could try to explain but aren't you already a little bored just trying to figure it out?)
The words in the title are ringing in my ears right now. "Bury the approval idol and have Cole pee on it." I am desperately praying that they permeate into my heart and my mind so I can get some peace. My good friend Jenn said them today after a discussion about some feedback I received today.
She's wise that Jenn. She and I go shopping together, fix one another food, go to the same church, have our kids play together, babysit each other's children and braid each other's hair.
(OK, we totally don't braid one another's hair, but I like to think we're good enough friends that we could in a pinch.)
It's wonderful to have people that would braid your hair. Fortunately I am surrounded by them, but it doesn't always feel like that when I get feedback on my writing. Sometimes it feels like people would rather just shave my head, and that feels sort of horrible.
Despite my knowledge that I truly only answer to One, I want everyone to like me. As it turns out, I am actually nothing close to likable for a number of people...and that's tough to swallow. It really sucks sometimes.
Everyone has their opinion. I genuinely respect that. I just have a difficult time with someone taking the time to contact me to tell me they don't like what I'm doing one little bit.
The best and most difficult thing for me since I started this blog has been staying true to myself. I wanted to write about the truth of everything I am feeling and thinking (more or less,) because I think that is what makes it worth writing and I would hope, worth reading.
I am not the same everyday and I wouldn't want to be. I like my dark, sarcastic side and I like my soft and sensitive side. I like to give them both their time to be heard. If I wrote a daily blog about the rays of sunshine that beam on my kids faces every morning and the joy that erupts in my heart at the sight of them, I would be a big fat liar.
This is me. This is genuinely me. Why is it so rough for me to shake the negativity that a few people drag into my inbox? I'm going to need to start some sort of daily self affirmation ritual. I'm fully open to any and all suggestions of what I should do.
(Unless you're just going to be mean, then please don't waste your negativity on me, there are lots of hateful people I've met and I'd be happy to forward you their contact information.)
I must continue on the long quest to bury that approval idol and perhaps have Cole pee on it for good measure, because it keeps rearing it's ugly head in my life. And as long as I have this blog, I have a feeling it will continue to rear it's ugly head again and again.
At least I'll always have Rob Bass and DJ EZ Rock to comfort me.