Wednesday, April 6, 2011

I Might Make A Very Fine Quiche - It's a Recipe-ish

First, thank you everyone for your sweet comments and emails about my state of exhaustion yesterday. It was rough, but like most of you said it does pass.  Stella slept much better last night and I woke up feeling like I might survive.  My meth addiction plans are currently on hold.  I'll reassess as needed.

Last Wednesday I shared an email where I wrote an enchilada recipe-ish to my friend. Apparently it was some what of a hit because I heard from all sorts of people, (about three or four,) that they loved it. 

So, I made an executive decision here at The Mommy Therapy (because I'm all that there is here at The Mommy Therapy) that in addition to all emails I have to send to more than three people turning into blog posts in an effort to streamline my life, Wednesday's will from now on be recipe-ish days.  I'll share an email to a friend for a recipe that I make up and that I think usually turns out ok.

You might be concerned that I don't have that many recipes that I just make up which I could share, and that would be a valid concern, one that I also have thought about a few times.  We'll deal with that later though.

You also might be concerned that perhaps I don't have tons of friends that are actually requesting these recipes to be emailed to them.  You again, would be valid in that concern...but I could always just lie about that one so let's forget about it.

I prefer to think that things are going to turn out fantastic though so let's focus on the fact that tonight I have another recipe-ish and a friend that requested it.  Her name's Sue.  She's my neighbor.  She's studying to be a chef and she makes lots of yummy stuff, which is what makes this sort of weird for me to be sending her a recipe, but I'm sort of an amazing woman like that, I do everything pretty wonderfully....or pretend to do so, which works just as well for me.

(She also does catering so if you need her you can contact me and she'll make your eating life divine.)

Here's the message...

Sue, per our margarita drinking conversation I'm sending you my quiche recipe. I'm going to go ahead and assume that you actually did want it and you weren't just drunk. 

(If you were drunk, you are weak and I'm a little concerned because we were drinking the same amount of margaritas and I just felt a little buzzed.   I'm going to recommend more drinking for you if that margarita made you drunk enough to request recipes for things you have no intention of making.)

I hope you can keep up, this isn't culinary school, it's real life bitch. (See, I have to be tough on you since you are used to being in school for all your cooking stuff and I assume everyone yells at you in cooking school because I've seen that Hell's Kitchen show.  I actually haven't.  I'm totally lying, but I've seen some ad of a yelling white blond guy and I think that he's yelling at people that are cooking so pretend I'm him the whole time you read this.)  FASTER!

Now, I love quiche.  I think it's a perfect food.  You can eat it for any meal and no one can judge you.  I hate meal judgers, they're just mean.  It also tastes equally delicious right out of the oven as it does the next day.  No one else in my family eats it, but I don't really care.  I'm the cook so I'll make what I like to eat, and everyone else can suck it! 

(Geez, totally channeling that blonde guy, but I'm going to go with it.)

Alex eats literally anything I make without complaint (though recently confessed he'd be cool if I never made quiche again) and I feel like the kids are still small enough to keep calling it an egg pie and maybe someday they'll think I'm really serving them pie so it must be yummy. 

I feel that my emotions on the dish are important in the essense of the quiche.  Don't forget my emotions the whole time you make this or it will taste like crap.  I swear.

So I call this Greek Pie because there is feta in it and I'm super creative. I also think that adding ethnicity makes things sound more fun and makes people more interested.  Take Alex for example, when I met him he was just a drunk guy in a bar, but when I found out he was Greek, I found him interesting enough to marry.  See?  That's how it works. 

I add the word pie because people that are smart love pie.

(Do you love pie Sue?  We've never talked about it and it could change our friendship if you don't.  Let's discuss soon.) 

Greek Pie.  People will obviously swoon prior to tasting.

Here is what you need, or what I think you should have, you're the chef.

1 ready made pie crust - feel free to make you own if you are an over achiever or if you've already been taught that in your cooking classes and you have time to do those types of things.  I'm way too busy wiping bottoms and figuring out how to play Lego pirate games.

(I've secretly thrown away about half the pieces of the Lego pirate game because I hate the game and the boys leave the pieces everywhere.  The game is essentially impossible to play now by the rules so I keep having to make things up and Aiden is really confused.  Yesterday the game consisted of 6 pirate faced cardboard coins and a spinning map, it was rough.)

See, you really have to want the recipe-ish when you read these. I tend to get a little sidetracked, the recipe-ish is worth it though

So get a damn pie crust.

Wait, pre heat the oven to 375.

Pie crust
4 or 5 eggs (I get the brown ones because I enjoy diversity in our home.)
1 cup-ish milk (I use skim because I'm cool.)
1 zuccini sliced
1 yellow squash sliced
2 large handfuls of fresh spinach leaves
1/2 an onion diced (white or yellow, everyone knows the red ones are for Greek salads and Mexican food)
some sliced mushrooms (since you're in culinary school I'm sure you recognize the "some" measurement and can handle that because I really don't know how many I put in.)
garlic (I use jarred garlic because I'm lazy. You should probably get fresh because I bet the people at school will laugh at you if you use jar.  It's tough at the top.)
Feta cheese crumbled (a huge block would be weird.  THINK Sue!) 

I can't give you an amount on the cheese.  Maybe 1/2 a cup?  Maybe 3/4 a cup?  I'm really bad at this.  Just guess.  Enough that there is some throughout the vegetables but not so much that you want to vomit.  That would be gross.

Really, you can add whatever you want to this dish, but you can't add meat. Ok, you can add meat, but I never do so you might want to think long and hard about it before you do.  What kind of meat are you really going to add to Greek Pie?  Lamb?  You're so weird. And that's stereotyping that every Greek loves lamb.  I bet you think Alex wears a toga all the time too.  Wait...can you see in our house?

I periodically add some chopped red bell pepper, if I'm feeling a little on edge.  I also have been known to add some tomotoes, but it sort of makes the dish watery.  I'm sure you and your fancy cook school could work that one out though if you wanted them in there.  I just enjoy the color red being in with all the other stuff.  I like my meals color coded.

Did you know my favorite color is red?  Did you?  Do you even know me Sue?

First, put some olive oil (GREEK PIE) in a sautee pan over medium high heat.  I use medium high heat for everything because it's not high and it's not medium, there isn't much more to say about it. 

Add the garlic. I used to add the vegetables in shifts, but now I pretty much just dump the onions, sliced zuccini, sliced squash, mushrooms and spinach.  I sautee all that until everything feels a little soft, but not mushy and not burnt.  Think you can handle that? 

This is a delicate part of the meal, keep your eyes open. (As a general rule, not sure if you have learned this yet in culinary school, but you should always keep your eyes open while cooking.  Unless you are blind it's pretty important to see what's going on.  You might not have reached that part in your book yet so I thought I could help.)

Sprinkle a little salt and pepper on everything because it's good. Turn off the heat and let the veggies cool a little bit.  (maybe 10 minutes?)

While that cools you can either check your email, send me a text because they make me happy, catch up on Facebook because you know someone has something silly to say about their crappy day, or you could keep your eye on the freakin prize and get "crackin" on the egg mixture.  (Seriously, when you met me did you think I was just a ball of delight with all my witty jokes like the one in the previous sentence?  I bet that was a good day for you.)

Your call.

For the eggs, I'm going to go slow.

Crack the eggs.  4 or 5.  Five makes it more egg like, four does not. 

Pour the milk.

Salt and pepper

Whisk it up.  (If you need help with this, ask Sydney.)

Go back to your cooled veggies and add the feta.

Unroll your pie crust into a pie plate.  I like the deep ones because I tend to overfill a quiche and the little pie plates just can't hang.

Shovel the veggie mix into the crust covered pan.  Pour the egg mixture onto and ever so slightly jiggle it so the veggies distribute amongst the eggs.  Sometimes I have to use a fork, sometimes I don't.  Life just throws things at you sometimes and you have to be ready to make the right call in the heat of the moment.  You can do it.

I sometimes sprinkle a little parmesan or mottzerrella on top for kicks.  I'm WILD!

Sometimes I use those foil crust covers my Mom got me, sometimes I don't.  They really are amazing and will ensure your crust doesn't burn, but they are a bit difficult to put on sometimes and I have a LOT going on around here.  I mean, I'm going to be in the paper this Saturday.  The Paper!  Clearly I'm important. 

Be sure to look in the back of the Life section where they place all the heavy, hard hitting journalistic pieces.  You should also basically consider this the last personal communication you will receive from me because I will probably have an assistant or something that will talk to my friends for me after I become famous on Saturday.  She'd be happy to drink margaritas with you again soon though.

Anyway, throw it in the oven.  (DO NOT THROW IT!  I was just kidding. It's an expression. Throwing an uncooked quiche would be messy, gross and just weird.)

Bake it for about 50 minutes or until it doesn't jiggle in the middle anymore. You know when a damn quiche is done, right?

That's it.  Wait a few mintues for it to cool a bit and then eat it.  I like to serve it with sliced tomatoes or a salad because I'm so fresh. 

I hope you enjoy it!  Next time you need an ethnic dish, I hope you think about Greek Pie.  Do you think I could be a chef now?  Could you steal me one of those hats? Let's talk.

That's it people.  I know you are thinking that with all two of these recipes I'll probably get a cookbook deal now like Pioneer Woman, but I'm holding out for my life story being turned into a major motion picture staring Jennifer Garner as me.  You have to have standards people.

So, what's in your quiche?  Or should I say egg pie?


Lynda Halliger-Otvos said...

You are a funny gal. I don’t read Ree anymore since I found you... I know, huh ?~? You rock; my quiche sux because I use too dang many eggs-wish I knew you back when I cooked.

Laura Haehl said...

Leslie - that was hilarious! I can just picture you saying all of those things and throwing away the pirate toys! You are an inspiration to me!

pezzoni1 said...

lol I <3 your recipes....I hope you do publish a cookbook when you get enough of them. I would probably be laughing too hard to get any cooking done, but who wants to cook really?

Stacy said...

Love this! btw, my cousin Kristi turned me on to your blog. We've recently moved to CA, so I'm sending your link to all my CA friends...which are, so far two...but look out! You're coast to coast now! I'm totally making this! And no one but me will eat it either!

The Mommy Therapy said...

Thanks for the love ladies!

Now you all know what it is like to talk to me. I email like I speak, right Laura?

Stacy, spread the word! I need CA to like me since they make the major motion pictures! Join a mom group and just annoy the hell out of them until they love me. My future success is now in your hands. I trust you. Go for it.

Leah said...

And in that movie do you think they will show Jennifer Garner peeing on the treadmill? Ican'twait.

Sue said...

Sue here! I have to say I loved your email and the recipe is de-lish! My chef professors have notice something different about me lately too and it's not as simple as shaving my mustache (although that was equally helpful advice). It's that I'm cooking with so much more fire and passion. I say it's the fury of the Greek Pie. Keep 'em coming because I love pilfering success off your super recipes!!!

Meri said...

Your post made my day! I too, have, erm, "thoughtfully misplaced" parts to certain kid's games that I constantly step on or vacuum up. Your recipe sounds yummy, I am going to try it :)

Glad to have found you via Serenity Now, I am your newest follower! :)