Friday, April 8, 2011

Cleaning Builds Character, Or Something Like That

So I cleaned my house on Wednesday.  (Fear not, the ins and outs of that adventure are not the main point of this post.) Remember the last time, I became devastatingly ill the day following the cleaning?  Alex was in charge and things like this were happening? 

Well, unfortunately that did not happen this time. Unfortunately I cleaned my whole house and I felt fine on Thursday.  Other than the lingering repercussions of a mere two hours of sleep and some sneezing due to pollen and dust, I was fine.  Apparently my arguments to Alex about requiring a cleaning lady in order to avoid me collapsing with a migraine in a pool of my vomit are not going to work. 

I'll keep searching for a reason though, there has to be something that would put a cleaning lady back into our limited budget. Perhaps cleaning could be linked to a lack of desire for intimacy?  I think some research is going to be required because that might be the key.

I did find that Wednesday's house cleaning was a delightful trip of self exploration.  I learned a few things about myself that honestly, I probably always knew but I choose to ignore because I'm so fantastic in other ways....why focus on the negative?

Here's the run down of some of my lower points though, just in case any of the anonymous angry readers were looking for some more ammunition to throw my way when leaving nasty comments about my lack of wit, mothering skills, attractiveness, oh and how I'm such a horrible wife.  Those are super fun. 

1. Apparently I leave my shoes (a lot of them) all over the place.  This would be fine, except that suddenly I'm the one that always has to pick them up.  Where's the fun in that?  This is obnoxious.

I also found a cluster flip flops next to the back door and four pairs of shoes in random locations, including the kids' bathroom and two under Stella's crib.  What am I doing?

2.  I tend to be a bit protective about anything I've worked on for several hours, even at the expense of being a little harsh with children just trying to have a good time.  My good friend Jenn stopped by with her two boys to play for a while after I cleaned and I almost had an aneurysm when my boys wanted to bring her boys inside to play. 

All I could think about was how I had JUST gotten all the dog paw prints and sand off my wood floors and they looked so pretty and the boys all are dirty, most of the time.  I need to get my priorities straight, but thank goodness Jenn gets me and accepts my neurotic behavior and was cool with an outside only mandate for all kids, except Stella because she's too pretty to put outside, and I'm too busy to chase her around. 

3.  I apparently am too busy to walk water glasses from my nightstand to the sink in the morning.  I really need to rethink my schedule because I must just have way too much on my plate if this is happening.
Perhaps I should also see a doctor to see if I have some sort of dehydration problem that requires me drinking 5 or 6 glasses of water a night? 
Either way I have some issues that I should probably address.
Most likely I just need to stop being so damn lazy and walk to the sink with a glass in my hand periodically.

4.  I am the master of washing clothes.  I can sort and wash clothes like the most amazing stay at home mom that I am...but apparently folding and putting away is not my strong suit.  This is day three of these cloths lying on the chair in my living room.  Embarrassing and simply sad.

Those were my insights.  I'm not in love with cleaning my house yet, but perhaps if I keep having all these powerful realizations while I clean I'll turn into a powerful woman while I do it.  Maybe?
Do you like cleaning your house?  Is that a stupid question?  Does anyone like cleaning their house?


aggiemommy said...

Thank you, thank you, thank you!! I'm sorry but misery loves company and your chair of clean clothes makes me feel so much more normal!!??!! I love the water glasses, too. I have a similar situation but w/ kids sippy cups and juice, milk or water in the fridge. We've probably got 4-5 in there now and I've only got 2 girls!!

As always, your honesty is funny and so appreicated!! :)

Mom said...

Ho! Ho! Now you know how your Mother felt when she would pick up shoes and etc. I love you anyway ! Mom

Juan and Kim said...

I just read the article you wrote for the Statesman and hopped over to your blog. I made my husband read this post so he'd know that there was someone else out there with my cleaning issues :) I, too, leave my shoes everywhere, have 5 water glasses on my nightstand and am the master of washing clothes and not putting them away :) Thank you!!!! You're not alone.

Anonymous said...

We are exactly alike! Enjoyed the Statesman article and I look forward to more.
Amy from Austin
P.S I do the shoe pile too!! :)

Lynda Halliger-Otvos said...

Yeah, the hardest part of laundry is the "fold and make go away" section of the never-ending event. Why can’t we dress from the dryer? It’s in the kitchen. And putting the dishes away-why can’t they live in the drain pan and just be used from there? Hell, while I am at it, can I get a cold water faucet right next to the bed? Enough of this walking all eight steps to the kitchen when I’m thirsty.

Anonymous said...

Great article. On 2/23/11 Stephen Colbert (The Colbert Report on Comedy Central) interview Stephanie Coontz, author of "A Strange Stirring". Check out the interview on line. I think what she said might convince your husband to hire Maribel again. Coontz said that the best predictors of a man's happiness with a relationship are how little criticism he gets and how much sex he gets. And the best predictor of a woman's lack of criticism and sexual attractedness to her husband is how much house work she does. May be the reference to this research are in her book. Interesting and very true in my case.

The Mommy Therapy said...

So many good comments on this one! Thanks everyone!

And the info on the actual documentation about my having a housekeeper equalling my an increase in my sex drive...awesome! Passing along to Alex immediately!

"Ima" said...

Ok this made me laugh. My wonderful house cleaner just moved. She was like family to us here in the Nutcase house. And so now I sit looking at 4 baskets of laundry that need to be folded and put away-but instead I blog and will go to bed soon. I enjoy cleaning-really I do-I just don't seem to get around to doing it very often.
I have to say your title of your blog is funny. When our kids were younger, we would literally have friends call us to go to dinner if they were considering starting a family. Usually by the end of the night, they were still wanting to wait-go figure.