Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Why I Should Clearly Never Clean My House Again.

Friday morning, after Amity told me she was busy and couldn't sit around and drink Starbucks with me and talk about the world while our kids played, I decided I should clean.  It had been two weeks since I let Maribel go and even though I had been keeping things mostly clean, I really missed a fully clean house. 
I informed the kids that we were going to clean, changed into my running shorts, sports bra and tank top, because I had a feeling this was going to be a perspiring event and dug right in to the grime.  I basically ripped apart the house to dust everywhere.  I stripped all the beds.  I moved all the furniture to vacuum.  I was invigorated.  Aiden and Cole were dusting with me, Stella was....well, I don't have any idea what she was doing, but she's still around so I'm sure she was fine.

After about an hour and a half or so I had made a lot of progress.  Unfortunately a lot of progress basically just meant I had ripped everything apart just enough that I was really tired and had no desire to finish the job.  Ugh, how did Maribel not hate me?

Aiden and Cole quickly decided that dusting wasn't as much fun as spraying a hose in the backyard and abandoned me, and I didn't blame them.  I decided to abandon things too for a few hours and eventually ended up coming back to cleaning around 4 pm, and had a horrific time getting it done with all three kids whining and complaining wherever I turned.  Cleaning was seriously hard work.  I totally needed my sports bra.

When I finished the entire house, it looked amazing.  It looked Maribel worthy.  It smelled fantastic.  I am a wonderful woman, but cleaning totally sucked.

That night we had a major plumbing problem in our kitchen which resulted in a lot of nastiness on our floor....that I had just spent all day cleaning.  It smelled foul and gave me all sorts of reason to curse. It was very, very frustrating and very, very gross.
Saturday morning I woke up with a headache. No, head pain.  It was horrible.  I got up, made Stella's bottle and then had to go right back to bed, abandoning Alex with the kids and the plumber.  I basically rolled and thrashed in pain in my bed until around one pm when I started vomiting.  It was swell.

I went back for more pain and thrashing, then back for more throwing up.  After that I laid on the bathroom floor for a while and moaned.  Cole and Aiden came and periodically gave me things like flowers and a can of chicken noodle soup. 
While I was lying in bed I could periodically hear the happenings of Alex attempting to handle all three kids.  It was tough out there too.  They went out for lunch, and dinner.  At one point I had been hearing Stella crying for a while and Alex was not having success getting her happy.  I happened to see Aiden walking by so I managed to call him to my bed so I could squeak out, "tell Daddy to feed Stella."  Yep, he just forgets stuff like that.  She's a baby, she needs bottles, it's different than the boys and it's a little complicated for him. 

During bed time I heard Alex ask Aiden what Stella was playing with and it turns out she had peed on the floor and was splashing around in it. Awesome.  Like I said, it's complicated with the baby.

He was a champ about the whole day though.  He knew I was out. There wasn't even a moment to consult me on things since I was pretty much in too much pain to talk....or I was barfing. He did it all, they are all alive and he probably loves me even more now for what I do everyday.  He'd never make it alone.

Sunday involved a trip to Costco that included the purchase of a 10 person tent.  I bet you are all thinking, "gee, your family must camp a lot!" You would be wrong, because we have NEVER been camping and I'm not a huge believer that this purchase will be justified, but it sure did make Alex happy and he was pretty traumatized by his day with the kids.  Overall the day was much better than Saturday.  Tent purchase aside, there wasn't any more time spent on the bathroom floor and none of our pipes were clogged. A huge success.

I think the important lesson to be learned here is that I shouldn't clean our house anymore. Ever.  This stuff never happened when Maribel was here cleaning.  I never once had a clogged pipe or had a paralyzing illness after she left. Alex never made erratic sporting good purchases on a whim at a large box store.  

I'm working on Alex to buy this theory and reinstate our relationship with the cleaning lady. I'm not optimistic, but I really feel it's for the safety of our whole family.  Right?


Erin W said...

Oh you poor poor thing!
I totally understand about the house though. I tend to be a little on the OCD side, but ever since we moved here I can't seem to get caught up, much less stay ahead. I have an adorable, loving, 18 month old tornado that follows right behind my cleaning. I seem to get the house more destroyed before it gets better. Glad to know I'm not alone.

As for the head pain and throw up. Ick!
Around 4pm today I came down with a terrible headache and I NEVER get headaches. Hoping it's not a tummy bug!

Steve Devis said...

I was very encouraged to find this site. I wanted to thank you for this special read. I definitely savored every little bit of it and I have you bookmarked to check out new stuff you post.
Plumber Homewood, Al