Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Stella and I Buy a Tire! It WAS As Much Fun As It Sounds.

Yesterday I found myself at the Firestone Tire Service Center near my house for a very exciting 1.5 hours of the boys' preschool time. 

Oh, and I of course had Stella with me. 

Oh, and 4 other people included the following:

1. A VERY overweight woman watching Charmed at a ridiculously loud volume on her laptop while Dr. OZ  fought to be heard about how to look younger using natural remedies on the waiting room TV. 

The overlap did make it sound a little bit like he was suggesting using various spells and dead animal parts to cure wrinkles, which was pretty amusing. Remember, I was at the tire store for an hour and a half.  I was easily amused.

2. A semi-creepy looking woman that kept talking on her iPhone to people about gender issues and some prescription for numbing creams. 

In between calls she would look at Stella, who was doing her best to win this creepy woman's attention despite my whispers that she wasn't worth her efforts,  and shake her head and mumble/giggle the word "babies" like they were the darnedest things. 

It was very strange and I didn't know if I should respond, "yes, she is a baby," or simply remove Stella from this woman's line of vision. For all I knew she was picking up spells from Charmed to make my baby need body numbing cream and feel unsure about her status as a female. 

3.  The sweetest Hispanic man that looked straight out of some Mexican drug ring gang. 

(Full disclosure, I do not have the slightest clue as to what someone from a Mexican drug ring looks like, but he looked like he could hold his own in any drug ring.) 

He was covered in tattoos, black leather and very large silver jewelry.  He had a long braid and a bandanna around his head.

He helped me with my stroller, giggled and talked to Stella and was so polite to the tire workers that I loved him.  I totally would have bought drugs from him. 

4.  The funniest Asian man. EVER.

What did he say that was so funny? Absolutely nothing. He giggled the entire time though.  It was so very fun to watch.  I really, really, really wanted to talk to him but knew that my car was going to be done any minute and was frightened that someone like that might not be able to stop talking once he started....and I might not be able to walk away from someone that fun.

I serious thought that I must have had a large booger hanging from my nose, or perhaps my boob had fallen out (which I am pretty sure that most men would find comical rather than sexy in my current post third baby state.)

Thankfully Stella and I escaped with only a new tire and as of yet we have not had any problems with mysterious body numbing sensations or cravings for crack after our time with Mr. Mexican Drug man.  It's only 10 am though, and Stella can't really tell me if she's having these types of problems.   I'll report back later.


Anonymous said...

This is hilarious, Leslie!

aggiemommy said...

Oh thank you for that!! I so needed a laugh after our horrendous night last night. And look at it this way, when you run out of wine you may have found a man to help you get a fix!! (seriously joking...I do NOT think you have any addiction problems...LOL!) Hope yall are having a great day. Thanks again! It reminded me that there is funny out there somewhere, even if it's not here today! ;)

Kristen :)