Thursday, January 13, 2011

You Should Have an Amity

Today is my friend Amity's birthday.  (It also happens to be my brother's birthday, but this post is mainly about Amity....sorry Kyle.  Feel free to work on your impact on my life this year and maybe next year's January 13th post will be about you.)  Every mom should have a friend like Amity.
Amity and I used to work for the same dysfunctional company but we didn't become really close until we had our children.  I don't know what I would do without her here.  Amity is my sanity. I honestly think I would have abandoned my kids in a park somewhere or left my husband to live in Indiana if it weren't for her.

Becoming a mom can feel isolating, lonely. It feels frustrating to be at the mercy of these small humans. It is maddening to have an endless series of  seemingly simple tasks to complete and each one is met with challenge and resistance.  It is boring to race matchbox cars or fold laundry or to read Skippy John Jones 5 times in a row.  It makes you want to cry when your potty-trained child poops their pants for the 4th time in a week and you have to clean it up. Being a mom can really suck.

I have always had good girlfriends, but never have I needed them more than after I had my children.  Having my children challenged me more, frustrated me more and gave me more joy speckled with horror than anything I had ever experienced.  It doesn't even make sense to say more, nothing else in life even had a small likeness to becoming a parent.  Amity has made so much of this crazy ride better for me.

We both love Starbucks and Target way more than is financially reasonable...but really, who doesn't?  We both think we have the potential to be really successful people, if it didn't sound like so much hard work, so we are content just discussing the potential right now. 

We both become consumed with ridiculous things like finding the right pair of skinny jeans or how to cut our bangs....when in reality no one cares about what we look like so what are we doing? We both have an admittedly disgusting fascination with things like zits, in grown hairs and ear wax.  Seriously, no one else would want to hang out with us as much as we are around one another except possibly our husbands. 

But ultimately, we both truly and deeply love our children....while simultaneously feeling like maybe we could be happier if we could find a way to spend much, much, much less time with them.

She has talked to me through a million and one parenting dilemmas and marriage woes.  She has listened to me say horrible things because that's how I've felt and she has yet to judge me.  She came over more often than was reasonable during the last few months of my pregnancy with Stella because she knew it hurt for me to walk and she actually took over parenting my kids while I sat on the couch.  She suffered through about 10 false alarms of me going into labor with Stella and was ready to take Aiden and Cole for us every single time.   Every Mom needs an Amity.

She'll discuss ridiculous things like how I could get Cole to fall asleep without drugging him or what type of a winter coat I should purchase my husband for as long as I'm trying to figure it out.  She'll hold my baby just so I don't have to do that anymore.  She is funny and sarcastic.  She is thoughtful.  She is intelligent.  She is inspiring.  She is an amazing Mom and a phenomenal friend. 

Seriously, you should have an Amity. Happy Birthday Amity!

1 comment:

yippiemom said...

Thanks a lot! You know I hate to cry unless it is for a good reason like not having money for new jeans. Thanks for appreciating me for who I really am and for always being who you are...the good, the bad, the ugly and everything in between! You complete me!

I have depended on you more for my sanity than should be necessary. You are my therapist, my shopping buddy and my voice of reason (or unreason). I admire you and you are my friend!

p.s. You truly proved your love for me by staying up late to write this post. I know how precious your sleep is right now. Also, you still owe me $8.50 for the last Costco run I did for you. That came out of my Target money, you can pay me back in Starbucks.

p.s.s. Thanks for making me look like total crap by not doing anything nearly this nice for you on your birthday. I was just saving it up for your 35th next year.