Saturday, January 8, 2011

Get Up and Go Out? Sounds like a lot of work...

Since Grandma and Tractor are visiting for a while I thought it would be a good idea to get a babysitter tonight so Alex and I could go out with them as adults.  We are very classy.

It just seems mean to subject my parents to only meals that involve me shouting at someone to stop something, be quiet or that include my complete absence from the table for 75% of the meal as I retrieve 50 things I somehow forgot to put on the table.  Seriously, don't I serve them dinner every night?  When will I figure out what needs to be on the table before we sit down?
Anyway, so  I magically found a new babysitter that is willing to give it a go with my children for a whooping $12 an hour while she flips through my tv channels and eats food.  If I liked kids more I would totally get a job babysitting and make some serious money.  Why does it cost so much for someone to sit here?  I like her though and she probably won't steal my kids to sell them since she's making such ridiculous money for doing so little.  I guess that's a good thing.

I should actually be showering and preparing for the babysitter's arrival right now, but instead I am sitting here writing and feeling lazy.  I'm curled up on my comfy bed just relaxing.  Wait...where are my kids?  This is great.

I don't understand this phenomenon.  Every time I have the opportunity to go out for something during the evening, I look forward to it from the moment it is planned....until it is actually time to go out.  Then I somehow forget that I've been dying to leave the walls of my home and the presence of these little people I slave over for adult conversation and night time activities and I don't really feel motivated to go.

I blame sleep exhaustion. Probably because I blame everything that goes wrong on being tired.  My poor behavior, as well as my children's, can always be traced back to lack of sleep in my opinion.  I wonder when this will stop?  Do you ever get to sleep after you have kids?  Should I be drinking more red bull?

So what's wrong with me?  I should be relishing in the opportunity to shower and actually put clothes on that are not playground appropriate or covered in spit-up.  I should be picking out ridiculous things like which eyeshadow color I'm going wear, because these are the decisions I never get to make.  I should be excited.

But really I want to throw on sweat pants, watch a movie and enjoy peace.  Maybe I need some zoloft?  Isn't that an anti-depression drug?  Am I depressed or just inclined to want to wear cotton and rest?  Maybe I'm just boring? 

I also compulsively worry about being tired the next day after a night out.  See, everything goes back to a sleep worry, this is a big problem for me.  I hate the thought of drinking one too many glasses of wine so that I have that slightly off feeling when I wake up in the middle of the night to deal with a lost pacifier or someone's need to pee.

I hate the next morning when all my children are excited to be awake at 6:30 and all I want to do is throw cereal on the floor and tell them to stick a straw in the juice container so I don't have to move.  I can't wait for my kids to learn to pour themselves a drink.  Maybe they'll even learn to pour one for me.

Ok, I'm moving.  I'm hell bent on having a good time and forgetting about sleep and my love of sweat pants after 7 pm.  I'm sure I'll have a good time once I'm out at a restaurant where someone else makes and serves the food for me. I bet I don't even have to yell at anyone to be quiet (other than perhaps my father) or get up from the table once to get anything.

1 comment:

Paula said...

I learned of your blog through "The Thoughtful Parent" and your post on "Freedom in Admitting Motherhood is Hard". Indeed, thank you for being a thoughtful, honest, real mom and having the courage to share that authenticity with the rest of us. Very refreshing.