Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Day Ten: Get Me A Job...

Alex thinks I should get a job.  Go ahead, ask it..."doing what?!?!?"  I think the most disturbing part of this idea is that every one of my friends that I have discussed this with has asked me that question, with the intonation that says they can not even imagine what I would be paid to do.  Thanks for the vote of confidence people. Ugh, I have become unqualified for anything that doesn't involve poop or tantrums during my 5 years out of the workforce. My brain is mush.

Like a lot of people right now, this economy is not making things easy for our family.  With a husband in the homebuilding industry, our income has changed dramatically over the last few years.  Unforutnately it has taken us a while to truly change our spending habits.  So now, money is tight....more like absent.  So I shouldn't have been surprised when Alex walked into our bedroom the other night and suggested I get a job.

I must admit that my first feeling was a little bit of panic.  This panic was driven by a few things.  I would like to say that my first thought was that I didn't want to have my children in daycare of any kind, or that if I worked during non traditional business hours we would have zero time together as a family, but the truth is that I immediately thought it sounded like a lot of,  When would I drop the boys at preshcool and head to Target with Stella? When would I stand in front of the mirror with Stella and watch her giggle at herself?  When would I get to cuddle with Cole and Aiden and watch Bug's Life?  Who would help Aiden start to read or be patient with him when he cries because he can't remember a word?  Most importantly, when would I sit and drink Starbucks with Amity while our kids play together and we pretend they aren't here? 

I don't know how working moms handle it all.  I feel like I need all of those amazing moments with my kids, (and with my Starbucks and friends,) just to get through all the ultra challenging moments in between.  The steady rhythm of chaos around here makes me want to knock my head against my wall, but add an employer to the mix and I might be pushed over the edge.  My constant 24-7 dedication to helping these little people learn how to function in the world confidently and productively is a daunting do I do that and function for someone else that expects me to perform?  I can barely get dinner together as it is, would we ever eat if I worked? Would we have clean clothes or dishes?

Honestly, I think we have decided that full time work probably wouldn't make financial sense, so that leaves us with part-time employment.  Alex has a vision of me working one or two nights a week and weekends in an amazing commission based job where I would max out comissions to adequately supplement our household income and be home in time to chat before bed. I'm not sure this job exists.  If you are familiar with a job like this though, please let me know....perhaps I should also make it clear that I'm just not interested in any type of prostitution or illegal acts of any kind, I'm just not that exciting. 

Right now I feel like I'll be at Blockbuster video working the 8 to midnight shift with acne infested teen boys that drink mass quantities of pop and make stupid jokes when pretty girls come in the door.  This would be both amusing and pathetically sad.  A small part of me is excited at the idea of doing something outside of here, but logistically and emotionally I feel it might be a nightmare.  I'm determined to keep a good attitude about it, at least periodically, as long as we feel the income helps. 

I'm writing as if I actually have a job though, there still is that small problem of finding a job that would want me.  I might soon be the drive thru woman at Taco Cabana.  Perhaps I could work at Starbucks and bring my children, and Amity, to work with me? If I could get a job at Target I would actually be very excited about hanging out there even more than I do.  I could just leave my kids in the toy or sporting goods section and daycare wouldn't be a problem.  Stella could probably even just hang out in the Bjorn on me while I price checked and asked people if they were finding everything ok. The downside would be having to wear a red shirt all the time, but I could push through that, I look good in red. 

Here are my top three most wanted jobs:

1. Famous Author
2. Famous Model
3. Famous Tral Lawyer

I feel it is important to point out that by famous I mean more noteworthy in my field than celebrity, US Weekly sort of famous.  I feel like these three positions sound fun and I would be really good at them if I just had the qualitficaitons.  I plan on dedicating the next few weeks to making my resume sound more suited to these types of positions.  It could happen, right?

So, if you have a job, like a trial lawyer position or something, and you think...Leslie would be perfect for this!....please let me know.  Don't bother forwarding me any day care job openings though, I realize it might seem like I would be qualified for that type of position but a bunch of stangers kids that are in a large group of other children all day, every day sounds like a nightmare to take care of to me.  I would rather eat beans and cereal every night to cut costs. 

Please come rent a video from me at Blockbuster or order a double bean and cheese burrito from me at Taco Cabana....I don't think I'm smart enough to get that Starbucks barista job anymore, the kids have taken over most of my brain.  I'd never be able to figure out all those drinks.  There might be a few snags in the top three list so....seriously, when is the economy turning around? 

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