Friday, August 1, 2008

Sick Baby, Mentally Sick Mommy

So, I have a sick baby. This is the end of the world for any Mom of young children. Seriously, it sucks.

My 11 month old got sick a few days ago with a fever. It started late in the afternoon and he had typical symptoms of fussiness and fatigue. After taking his temperature (103 degrees,) giving him some motrin, and putting him to bed, I relax and think back to my older son's times of fever sickness and how he slept pretty well those nights. He seemed to just go to sleep and let his body fight whatever was going on....or during the worst of times he came and slept with me.

Apparently siblings are really different when sick. The screaming and moaning started about an hour after I put him to bed. I went to him, held him, rubbed his back and got him to go back to sleep, because I am such a loving and nurturing Mom.

Thirty minutes later he is up again and inconsolable. Since it is 8:00 pm, my husband is home, and my 2 year old is in bed, I rally and take turns with my husband comforting the baby for the next few hours. When he still was not able to settle into sleep and his fever was still 103 around 11:00 pm I felt that creeping sensation of genuine concern for my child mixed with a hint of my selfish desire to just leave his room and go to can only be loving and nurting for so long.

Around midnight, I begin to do what I usually do when faced with one of these frustrating, unsolvable situations with my children...I go frantically search through my baby reference books for the exact instructions on how to make this horror end.

I remembered hearing I could rotate Tylenol and Motrin every three hours so I had started that around 9:00. Now, thinking I could administer more medication I happen to glance at a page in one of my books in which the author explains why they specifically do not recommend this treatment for fevers unless your child is prone to seizures. Shit!

Crap, now I'm overdosing him...unless by some chance he is a child prone to seizures? He could be, how do I know? Am I seriuosly standing in my kitchen hoping that he is prone to seizures so that my medicine dosage could be justified if I have to talk to an ER doctor about an overdose later?

Forget it, I proceed with the rotating of medicine thinking that this author is probably just really cautious since she also states you can't give your child raisins until they are 3, and I decide to go with the voice of my husband's doctor friend that often tells us how difficult it is to kill someone and how overdosing on over the counter medicine is pretty impossible. Fantastic, a much more comforting thought.

By 1:00 am though we still don't have much relief and my husband and I are staring over the crib at our screaming child and seriuosly contemplating the ER. I have hit the point where I am so tired that rational thoughts are no longer even combating the crazy, overtired thoughts I have. All the irrational things my Mom has said to me earlier about the recent news stories she has heard are running through my head: possible kid-killing bacterias found in pools from people peeing in them too much (we were at a free public pool the other day!), a child contracting menengitis from swimming in a lake (we were in the river yesterday!), and my favorite which is that I have been using too much/too little hand sanitizer so now Cole is stricken with deadly bacteria from my incompetent parenting skills. Crap!

An hour later Cole is asleep and I'm ready to end all contact with the outside world for my child and will be looking into placing him in a bubble.

It was a great 4 hours of sleep.

No comments: